New Year’s Eve

Party Popper

Hello everyone.^^/

2014 has been one big adventure. Many happy things have happened for me as well as many nerve-racking moments. In fact, I keep on forgetting the littlest of things that happened this year. Passing an online course, completing my first ever story, attending my sister’s wedding and going out many times, especially London! Right now I’m just busy enjoying the festive season. =)

I’m sure 2015 will treat me just as kindly, if not more. I’m not sure what’s going to happen really, but there are many things for me to look forward to. There are plenty of Marvel films coming up at the cinema. I think a new James Bond film is also coming out at the pictures. I will hopefully take the opportunity in that year to upload my book onto Amazon Kindle. I’m very excited yet nervous about that prospect. =)

My New Year’s Resolution?… I don’t have one. Well, my New Year’s Resolution applies every day in every moment, not just on the 1st January. That resolution is to always be kind to others and to enjoy every moment of every day. I’m sure that whatever happens in 2015 is meant to be.

I will continue to write about my thoughts and how I cope in social situations. I will write plenty of anime and manga reviews. I also anticipate that I will share with you all my past experiences during my acting days. I have many funny stories to tell and I figured it’d be worth sharing. =)

I wrote quite a few haikus as it is one of my hobbies. I don’t usually share them as they’re rather personal to me. However, my gut feeling is telling me that I should share one haiku in particular. It’s the one that I wrote specifically for this time of year. Here it is:

NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTION

My-resolution,

Is-for-everyone-to-be,

Happy-all-year-long.

Written By

Ryan Speak

31st December 2014

THANKS FOR READING

Non Non Biyori Calendar 2015

My New Year’s Eve has just got better. My Christmas present, Non Non Biyori calendar, has literally arrived just in time before we welcome 2015. I’m really happy, so happy that I decided to share a photo of it here. =)

I hope you all have a peaceful night and fun celebrating.

Thanks for reading.

Happy New Year everyone.^^/

Ryan

Dating

Issei and Asia

Winter Tidings.^^/

The Undateables is coming back on Channel 4 very soon. A few close peeps have mentioned in passing that it might be worth considering going on that show to meet up with someone. I appreciate their thoughts for me and considering my happiness. However, I have no plans to use these types of dating services.

My main reason is that it would just feel too forced and formal. I get anxious and nervous just meeting someone new at my brother’s and sister’s gatherings. I feel that meeting someone new by myself would put me under unnecessary pressure. Plus, the TV coverage wouldn’t really help ease my nerves. I make many mistakes in social situations and if I embarrass myself only a few people would see it. However, if I make mistakes and be quirky on TV then three million plus viewers would see it, not just a handful of people. Haha.

Really, being in a relationship has never really entered my mind. I did go on a date when I was 11 years old but that’s another story to tell in another blog. 😉 Really, what’s important is for me to meet new people and gain experience by meeting a variety of people. Of course, having a female partner would, I’m sure, be a valuable and wonderful experience. However, I’m in no rush. I never have been and I never will be. My priorities are my family and friends, meeting new people and making new friends through the art that is socialising. =)

I’m not worried about finding someone because I know I have a soul mate out there. It’s just that I haven’t met her yet, cue Michael Buble… I don’t know when, I don’t know how, and I don’t know where but I know that fate will assist me into finding that one special lady. Some of you may not believe in fate, but I’m a huge believer in fate and that two people are destined to be together. Some find each other through neighbours, some find each other through schools and some even find each other in pubs and train stations. Haha.

THANKS FOR READING

Non Non Biyori Wallpaper

It will happen for me it’s just all about living in the present and not worry about what the future holds.

Just right now, I just finished watching a film about Glenn Miller starring James Stewart, it was really cool. Mr Miller is quite the pioneer in his time and a very positive gentleman. I would have like to have met him.

I’m now going to read heaps of manga that I got over Christmas, but not before going out for a long walk. The sky is golden and beautiful where I am right now. =D

Thanks for reading.

Namaste.^^/

Ryan

My Christmas Spirit

Coca-cola-lorry

Ho, Ho, Ho.^^/

Christmas has an impact on people in different but wonderful ways. For me, it represents a time to spend with family and friends. So far, I’m doing just that. However, it never really occurs to me that Christmas is coming until certain things trigger my realisation…

  1. The Coca-Cola Advert
  2. Putting up the decorations
  3. Home Alone on TV
  4. Advent Calendar
  5. Walking out in the freezing cold
  6. Putting up the Christmas tree

When do you realise Christmas is coming?

The decorations in my house look splendid, and I’ve got a new star to put at the top of the tree. =) I watched Home Alone the other day on Channel 4 +1. I would say that both Home Alone 1 and 2 are probably my favourite Christmas films of all time. I enjoy it now as I did when I was much younger. Even in the days when I in a complete world of my own. I remember my Mum buying the Home Alone soundtrack all the way back in 1992. It’s both wonderful and amazing how time flies. I’ve come a long way since then. =)

I’ve been in a good mood recently. I recently finished my illustration on a picture that I’m quite proud of. I drew and coloured Aoi Sakurai from the anime, ‘Rail Wars.’ I was thinking of doing either Rias Gremory or Takao next. However, I also begin to wonder if it’s more appropriate to draw a Christmas picture with a bunch of anime girls squashed together. That could be a lot of fun actually. If I feel like it, I’ll give them a go.

So far I’ve been doing a countdown to Christmas. Every morning I would eat a piece of chocolate from my Thomas the Tank Engine advent calendar. Then, I would post #day1 for example onto Instagram. I’m finding that a lot of fun. I don’t really eat heaps of chocolate in truth, but when I do, it’s on a special occasion. =D

THANKS FOR READING

Father Christmas

 I still have plenty of presents to wrap and cards to send but it’s all worth it when the 25th December arrives. 😉

Thanks for reading.

Namaste.^^/

Ryan.

Applewood Farm Pub Quiz 2014

Applewood Farm

Ho, Ho, Ho.^^/

Coincidentally, it was around this time last year that I blogged about the Applewood Farm pub quiz. This time was more special than the time from last year.

A dear friend of ours came to visit from Norway. He’s really my brother’s friend but I said ‘ours’ because I consider him a friend of mine too.^^/ Since he was over here we decided that we were going to the Applewood Farm pub quiz. I was invited out on this occasion. Usually I would have to think about it for days. Instead, I said that I would go and deal with my anxiety when the time came.

*

I did get into a little bit of a head mush for a couple of hours before the outing. I had a lot of decorations to sort out, house chores and wrapping presents. I tried to think rationally. It then came to my attention that a completely new person was going to come and join our outing. I started to get apprehensive. I was not prepared to meet someone new. It wasn’t long ago that I had just got over the whole London trip so how was I going to fare going to the quiz with someone new?

This nearly swayed me out of the trip. I then remembered that our friend from Norway was attending. It isn’t often that he comes over and he was going back the following day. This would really be my last opportunity to see him for a while so I decided to go, despite my sudden rush of worries.

*

The taxi with my brother and co arrived. A strange wave of anxiety then rose up in my chest and stomach. The taxi he ordered was… let’s call them Taxi Company X. Now, this was a big problem for me. Taxi Company X gave me a hard time during my college/university days. They often made me late, they crashed into posts, they nearly crashed into other cars and they deliberately left me stranded. My parents complained about them at the time and I was switched to another transportation company to get to college/university.

I promised myself that I will never travel with them again. And I kept that promise…but my brother made me break it. Bro, if you’re reading, shame on you! (The fact that my brother knew nothing about my silent promise is neither here or there. Haha.)

In all seriousness, I understand that things could have changed since my university days. For all I know the evening service might be a lot more efficient then the contract service. Letting things go can be difficult depending on your own experience. On this occasion I needed to grit my teeth hard. Fortunately for me Taxi Company X were ok and they didn’t leave me stranded. Of course I won’t forget about the times when they made my life difficult but this was a good barrier for me to overcome. They still wouldn’t be my first choice of transportation.

*

In the taxi I tried to distract myself by making conversation. We talked about rubbish and I was sort of ok.^^/

The pub quiz was quite fun, our team were the Volvo Brothers, Volbros for short. 🙂 The puzzle round was mighty difficult. I’m not even sure if I can explain it… so I won’t. Haha.

I was debuting my new jumper and silky T-shirt too. It was a proud moment… until it was cut short. It came to light that I dropped bits of chocolate flakes down my jumper. “Oh no!” was my instant cry. I then pulled up my jumper to find more chocolate flakes on my pants. “Oooooh nooooo!” was my bigger cry.

You may have gathered, but I get somewhat careless when I eat. I even found one on my forehead. I have no idea how that got there! I don’t eat like Cookie Monster though. Honest!

*

The socialising side was much better than I anticipated. There was a chance that another lady was going to join in with the quiz on our team too. It was too short noticed for me to react or worry so I decided to just take it in my stride. I was adamant that I wanted to be on the end of the table as I sensed that I needed to dash off a couple of times.

Our team were placed 8th out of 37 with 61 points. I was most pleased. We originally counted up the score to 48 points. When we didn’t hear our names I suspected that we might have been disqualified. If you’re caught using your phone during the quiz or google the answers then you’re automatically disqualified. I know I used my phone once replying back to a friend but no more than that. I was concerned that we might have been disqualified due to a misunderstanding. Thankfully, I was wrong. =)

I bought my brother a pint of…carling, I think? I’m a tea total by nature and never touch anything alcoholic. His birthday is coming up so I figured I should treat him. It’s probably the second time that I bought him a pint, but I was on my own in this case so I was unsure if I was going to get an I.D. check. It turned out, I didn’t.

I seem to forget that I’m not as young as I used to be. In my head, I feel no different now than when I was 17. It’s weird yet fascinating how we age. I digress.

*

I somewhat interacted with other people. I grinned at the quiz master and he winked at me back. I smiled back at a random lady who was smiling when I was at the bar, getting hot chocolate with marshmallows and chocolate flakes. Yes, these are the exact same chocolate flakes that went down my pants and top. Haha.

I was somewhat caught up in the crowd and sort of backed off so I let everyone get through the door first. I don’t like heaps of crowd as some of you may know, so I decided to wait until the crowd died down to get out. This random chap asked me “where did you come?” I replied “eighth.” He then mumbled a couple of words, but I believe he was paying me and my team a compliment.

A young cute lady then said to me that they came in second. I beamed up and offered my congratulations when Mr Drunk interrupted and said that she was lying out of her…backside. Now that I think about it, she probably said thirty second and he misunderstood her. Then, when we were outside he offered up a fist gesture so someone would bump with him. So, I stretched out my arm and gave him a fist bump. Haha. Then he walked away…

I think that was probably the first ever time I gave someone a fist-bump. Haha.

THANKS FOR READING

It was certainly an eventful evening from my point of view, but in a way, it’s a good change of pace and most certainly a valuable experience, especially when handling people who have had a little bit too much to drink.

Jingle Bells until next time.

Namaste,^^/

Ryan.

My First Year Blog Anniversary

Party Popper

Blog Tidings.^^/

It seems rather strange that I have been blogging for one full year now and this was met by many adventures that I did during that period. =) I’m not sure how it started really. I believe I was just rambling on with my family when it came up in passing that I should blog about my experiences with Autism. I learned over the years that writing things down can release my unwanted tension and it’s another form of me expressing myself. =)

After careful consideration, I registered on WordPress and my blogging journey started…

I could talk about my year as a whole, but instead, I’ll just summarise and link to the blogs that I think are significant.^^/

  1. Introduction

This is my introduction which I wrote one year ago. =)

(http://ryanlikestospeak.wordpress.com/2013/11/16/introduction/)

  1. WWE Raw 2013

I went to WWE Raw with my circle friends. I used to be a big fan of WWE but this was the first time that I attended an actual wrestling show. It was daunting but it wasn’t as bad as I expected it to be. Plus, my favourite wrestlers were in attendance.

(http://ryanlikestospeak.wordpress.com/2013/11/28/wwe-raw-experience/)

  1. Segway

This was good experience and an instant highlight of the year. I arranged a birthday treat for my brother. This was the first time that I had actually arranged anything. I was also venturing into the unknown here. It was a little distance away but we both had a really good time and I would do Segway again without hesitation.

(http://ryanlikestospeak.wordpress.com/2013/12/07/segway/)

  1. Pub-Quizzing

On some occasions I would go to the Pub Quiz either as a night out or to celebrate a special occasion. I would often have to have a long think about whether I want to go out or not. Last month though, I went to the pub quiz for Cheese’s (the friend, not the dairy product) birthday celebration. Instead of needing to think I just decided to deal with my emotions when the time arrived.

(http://ryanlikestospeak.wordpress.com/2013/12/14/pub-quizzing/)

  1. WWE Royal Rumble

In early 2014 I stayed at my brother’s until the early hours watching WWE Royal Rumble. For some televised wrestling events I would often stay over. Usually after the event I spend the rest of my night sitting in a chair reading as I don’t feel comfortable sleeping in someone else’s house.

(http://ryanlikestospeak.wordpress.com/2014/01/31/wwe-royal-rumble-2014/)

  1. Completing a Writing Course

This was certainly a joyous occasion and I celebrated it with a pint of J2O. 😉 I learned a lot about writing and how to approach a publisher. Nothing has been happening for me and my books just yet but I believe I’m steering myself in the right direction. =)

(http://ryanlikestospeak.wordpress.com/2014/01/17/passing-an-online-course/)

  1. Positivity and Autism

Naturally, coping with Autism can be tough. I tend to over-think and read into situations that are not there.

(http://ryanlikestospeak.wordpress.com/2014/03/15/negativity-to-positivity/)

(http://ryanlikestospeak.wordpress.com/2014/10/18/negativity-to-positivity-over-thinking/)

  1. Visiting College

Visiting my college again was quite a challenge. I was invited back to college a few times to watch performances and to catch up with people but I declined those offers. I was out of routine and had become unfamiliar with everything.

However, this year, I decided to pluck up my own courage and visited. I thought long and hard about this invitation but in the last minute I decided to say “yes.”

(http://ryanlikestospeak.wordpress.com/2014/06/25/visiting-college/)

  1. The Wedding Blogs

I didn’t have much to blog about in July except for one…my sister’s wedding. That was a very significant moment and I achieved a lot personally on that day.

(http://ryanlikestospeak.wordpress.com/2014/07/28/the-wedding-part-one/)

(http://ryanlikestospeak.wordpress.com/2014/07/31/the-wedding-part-two/)

  1. Yoga

My outlook on myself and confidence is highly due to my regular practice in Yoga.

(http://ryanlikestospeak.wordpress.com/2014/08/23/my-yoga-journey/)

(http://ryanlikestospeak.wordpress.com/2014/10/05/my-yoga-journey-continues/)

  1. Film with a Friend

I went to watch the Transformers film with a friend… this was definitely a significant moment as this was the first time that I’ve been out with someone without a family member being present. The following day I went to the cinema with my Dad, and I took the initiative as he is less familiar with the procedure then I am.

(http://ryanlikestospeak.wordpress.com/2014/08/25/transformers-age-of-extinction-film-review/)

(http://ryanlikestospeak.wordpress.com/2014/08/26/inbetweeners-2-film-review/)

  1. Impromptu Outing

Going to an impromptu trip to a train station was an interesting challenge.

(http://ryanlikestospeak.wordpress.com/2014/08/27/journey-to-tumbleweed-station/)

  1. November Happenings

November was very busy month and was perhaps the most challenging.

I designed a Halloween costume dressed as the Shockmaster for my Brother’s Halloween party. The day after that I went to London to watch Distant Worlds: music from Final Fantasy orchestra at the Royal Albert Hall. As I travelled to London it was necessary for me to stay in a hotel, the first time that I ever slept in a bed that wasn’t my own… If that wasn’t challenging enough, I then travelled to Liverpool to watch WWE Raw.

(http://ryanlikestospeak.wordpress.com/2014/11/03/halloween-as-the-shockmaster/)

(http://ryanlikestospeak.wordpress.com/2014/11/05/london-trip-part-one-the-preparation/)

(http://ryanlikestospeak.wordpress.com/2014/11/07/london-trip-part-two-the-london-experience/)

(http://ryanlikestospeak.wordpress.com/2014/11/11/london-trip-part-three-the-final-fantasy-concert/)

(http://ryanlikestospeak.wordpress.com/2014/11/13/wwe-raw-and-liverpool-experience/)

BLOGGING

I believe I still have a lot to learn where blogging is concerned. What I have learnt though is that at times I probably forced myself to blog about stuff if I felt that I should blog about it. I like to think that in one year I developed my own style of writing and blogging. I consider myself always upbeat and looking on the happy side of life.

What I learnt is that I need to enjoy what I’m writing and I would often remind myself that all these blogs are from my own point of view. I tend to get the best out of myself if I enjoy writing, especially when reviewing film and manga. It can be hard at times since I find it difficult to summarise but thankfully I have my editor (aka Mum) to help me out. 😉

I find as well that if you don’t force yourself to blog you will have more things to talk about.

I feel a lot better when I’m blogging as it’s a good way to express myself. However, it came to light at times that viewers from all over the world are actually reading what I have to say. I’m also aware that some of my blogs have put smiles on the faces of my friends.

Making people happy is what motivates me to continue writing and blogging. Being happy is important, and if I’m making someone happy then I intend to keep up with that flow! =)

THANKS FOR READING

Two Thumbs-Up

I summarised my whole year to the best of my abilities. How did I do? Did I waffle too much? Haha. Well, I had to figure out how I was going to write this blog. In all honesty, it wasn’t a tough as I anticipated. All I had to do was sum up what I did and share my adventures from last November to now. =)

I hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it. I can’t wait to see what my future adventures will involve next.

See you next time.^^/

Namaste,^^/

Ryan.

Getting Things Wrong

Image

Spring Tidings.^^/

 

Like most normal human beings (that is, if you class me as ‘normal’) I get things wrong or make a mistake here and there. But, for an Autistic person like me, mistakes always seemed worse than they actually were. I’m not as bad as I used to be.

 

I’ll give you a past example…

 

Back in my school days I was one of the more ‘capable’ students, and thus, my reputation grew as such. So, I felt pressure every single day to always give it my best and to ensure that I never got anything wrong or did anything wrong. When I did say the wrong thing or I made a mistake during maths, I would get quite upset. It felt like I had let the whole school down and let myself down for not living up to my reputation. My reputation of not only being clever, being the best at sports but being a gentleman too.

 

It wasn’t necessarily getting things wrong; it was more about making someone unhappy or making someone cry. That’s the worse feeling for me. I would hate to think that someone is unhappy because of me. I strive to do the opposite. If someone raised their voice to me, I took that to mean I had done something bad and that made me feel ashamed.

 

That was when I started to fear getting things “wrong”.

 

Sometimes I would say things that I didn’t mean to say or say something because I didn’t know how else to explain it. I put pressure on myself because I probably took words too literally (hence, I don’t always understand sarcasm or generalisation), and the teachers put pressure on me to get me ‘motivated’.

 

I still remember doing my GCSE’S. In January 2006, I started my preparations for doing the Foundation GCSE’s in maths. It was literally the only subject that I did. Every time I got a question wrong I would get a telling-off for not ‘concentrating’. I was even called to the office one time for getting a score lower then average. I remember I got severely scolded because I got an easy question wrong. It was stated that I got it wrong because I didn’t work a question out using a calculator. In actual fact, I did use a calculator, I just added it up incorrectly.

 

Doing GCSE’s made me feel both proud and stressed. On the day I received a stern telling-off and had to re-take practice tests I did cry. All I did was get a few questions wrong and yet I got berated. I was under more pressure than ever to not get anything wrong.

 

2006 wasn’t the year of Ryan. XD

 

It was necessary for me to prepare 6 months for GCSE’s. I went on to get a D, well, one mark from a D (highest you could get for Foundation Maths). So, I like to think I did myself proud. Students at secondary have 5 years to prepare for GCSE’s and I only had 6 months and managed to pass, so, a pat on the back for me! =D

 

It’s important to look at it from my teacher’s point of view though; it’s a very stressful job. WWE wrestler Kane actually did some teaching before becoming a wrestler and he said that it was the hardest job he ever did. I can understand why. Teachers and TA’s are always under pressure to get the best out of a student and/or they have to meet a certain criteria. Hence, they can become stressed, which then passes on to the student.

 

My school was actually closing down in 2006 due to lack of funds. And that was pretty much when government started to close down SEN schools. This was the first and only time that the school had a student taking part in GCSE’s, I.E., me. They were under pressure to try and end the school on a good note and to get the best out of me. When they yelled at me I think they were trying a reverse-psychological approach… it failed- miserably. Haha. XD

 

They wanted to make sure as well that I was always focused, which I was by all means. It’s just that when you have your head bogged down on something and you get fatigue, sometimes, the easiest questions are the hardest, and the hardest questions are the easiest. My thoughts are, it’s not if you know the answers, it’s whether you  can focus during the actual test.

 

Nowadays

 

I still have some quirks to tell you the truth. I still get a little sensitive if I feel I’ve done something to upset someone or to make them ashamed of me. I’m not as bad though as I’m older and I have more experience of how to handle these situations.

 

As for general mistakes like getting knowledge wrong… I couldn’t really care less about those sorts of things. XD Sometimes I do get confused and ask questions but I never really go off on a tangent. If I’m mistaken about something, it’s no big deal.

 

Why, I wrote a blog on Captain America: Winter Soldier recently, annotating a review…

You can check out the review here: Captain America: Winter Soldier Review

 

I got a few things mixed up there!

 

You see, I thought the Winter Soldier (Bucky) was called Hydra. In actual fact the whole evil organisation is called Hydra, and not called Red Skull Army. XD Red Skull was the antagonist in the first film. Whoops!

 

Back in the day I would get really upset and I would feel extremely pale by writing a few mistakes on a blog post where many people mite read it online. Nowadays though, I kind of laugh at this sort of thing. Because these days people tend to laugh at my mistakes rather than yell at me. I’m an adult, thinking about it, and I’m allowed room to make mistakes.

 

Feeling no pressure for being me and being clever and what have you is all washed away in the past. The way I am now, getting things wrong and making mistakes left and right, getting barrels of laughs at my mishaps, suits me very well. It’s a part of who I am. =)

 

Namaste.^^/

Ryan