Wii U Cinema Adventure

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This morning was a very unique experience. To celebrate my Brother’s 30th birthday he has hired a Cinema venue for a couple of hours to play Wii U games on one of the gigantic screens. =D Apparently this was the first ever time that someone has hired a Cinema screening to play Wii U games on.

The anticipation did get to me and that resulted in me losing some sleep last night wondering what was going to happen and over-analysing. Because I was nervous I started to think irrationally but eventually I managed to tell myself “pull yourself together.” Nothing has happened yet so it’s pointless to imagine scenes and picture the worst case scenario. Just go in there with a positive mind, and that’s what happened.

I went there with a small group of friends and family and we started to play the Wii U. I noticed the huge difference playing games on a small TV than playing games on a huge screen. Cinema screenings are usually filled with people but on this occasion there were only the 7 of us so I’m willing to go as far as say that this was the best filming experience ever… except, we were playing games rather than watching a film. Haha.

I tried to be a little more chatty this time around but sometimes I stayed quiet, unsure what to say so I just played the games. We played Nintendo Land and Mario Kart. I was very rusty. I wasn’t so good to begin with but I was even worse today. Not that I mind though, it was good fun and a brilliant experience.

I keep mentioning about my epiphany from months ago but it’s proving to be diffidence in my current positive way of thinking. Plus, I didn’t get trapped in the toilet this time so that’s a big bonus!

We played for two hours and it was a very good change of pace, but even so I did somewhat reached my limit because I started to get some blankess in my head. The blankness in my head usually indicates where I’ve been out for too long but it had nothing to do with the event itself. My enjoyment for the event was slightly greater so I tried to ignore the headache and just try to make the most of it.

After having fun whilst being somewhat out of my comfort zone I can relax with a nice hot chocolate. =)

Speaking of comfort zones, something completely off topic, I babysat my young niece the other day which was a bit spur of the moment. Usually I do struggle with “last minute” situations as I like routine but luckily this time around I managed to gather my thoughts and babysat her with Mum until my Brother came home.^^/

Positive thinking really does help a bundle and it’s a bonus when you go out for the sake of having fun. =)

 

Thanks for Reading. =)

Ryan.^^/

Kitacon Karnival Experience: Part Two

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(Kitacon Karnival Experience: Part One)

  1. BAD START TO THE DAY

The morning was not the perfect start to the day, for many reasons. I woke up late for breakfast as my alarm didn’t go off. I also accidentally yanked off my golden wristband. I was trying to adjust it as it was giving my wrist a bit of a rash. When it came off I was like “is it really that important?” and threw it in the bin. It turns out, as I found out later, it was VERY important. I wasn’t allowed in the dealer’s room so I had to go back upstairs and retrieve it from the bin…

Then, when I went to the game’s room the crew spotted that my wristband was *cough* damaged. Zen guided me to Ops where the crew gave me a replacement. After all this I decided to go back to my room to unwind where I learned there and then that I accidentally locked myself out of the room. I left my keys inside. It just so happens that my brother had a second key.

I did feel embarrassed at my own clumsiness so I decided to spend a while in my room to chill out for a bit.

  1. DAY TWO at the KITACON and STREET FIGHTER TOURNAMENT

I spent the rest of the day mostly talking to cosplayers and taking photos. I found them all pleasant to talk to but my confidence was a little bit shaky.

Socialising is still a big learning curve for me but I feel like I’m able to read situations better than ever and gauge people’s reactions slightly better than I did the year before. I think on this day in particular I probably did put myself under unnecessary pressure to socialise and I think my approach to some conversations did come across as unnatural and nervy. Luckily all the cosplayers are very nice and understanding of each other, even though we don’t necessarily know each other all that well. That’s the kind of vibe that I get from everyone. It’s that kind of atmosphere.

At one point during the day I did feel like I’d had enough and felt I would rather be at home. But, I still tried to make the most of it whilst I was there and told myself that I was going to be more active in the evening and see what happens.

Later on I took part in the Street Fighter V Tournament despite the fact that I’ve never played the game before. I was never in it to win I just wanted to play the game as I thought it would be a lot of fun.

  1. THE MASQUERADE and the PARTY

The Masquerade was a daunting experience and it was the first ever masquerade I had ever been to. I was extremely thankful that I got a VIP badge as I was allowed front row access right on the side so I could disappear anytime if it got too overwhelming. I found that reassuring. The atmosphere was not as loud and energetic as I thought it was going to be, instead it was just cheers and clapping and I don’t mind that so much as we’re supporting the cosplayers on stage.

I did my utmost best to get as many pictures as I could but everything was happening rather quickly and unfortunately I didn’t manage to take as many photos as I would have liked. I was disappointed but I did the best I could. It went on for quite a while and I did enjoy it but I think it ended at the right time, at least for me personally, as I can’t really be in a room in a large crowd for too long.

I went to my room to have a long rest after the event was done.

A couple of hours later I found my brother and good chum Chris and we danced in the party. I liked the party on the second day more than I did on the first day and I felt that it was because I was hanging around with a group whom I was familiar with whilst interacting with new people at the same time.

I spoke to a very nice lady. I think she’s a very interesting person and I enjoyed talking to her. It felt natural and I felt comfortable, a couple of years ago I might have made a polite excuse to go away from an impromptu conversation. Instead, I braved it and spoke to her. =)

I was also part of that humongous conger line and I was near the front, right behind the person who was videoing it with her camera phone. The best part of the conger line was that a Stormtrooper was right behind me. =D That conger line was fun and when it finished I decided that it would be a good time to leave and go to bed. I was in a good mood but I still had a very bad headache. If I left now, it would be on a high.

So I did.

  1. LAST DAY

It was nice and calming on the last day even though I did feel very ill in my head and body. I think because I had been speaking to so many people over the last couple of days, I felt the energy was zapping away from me. It was the right time to go home.

I did manage to take some more pictures on the last day but I wasn’t feeling as energetic as I had been, but I think most people were probably feeling the same.

OVERALL

It was a very good experience and probably one of the best experiences I’ve ever had in my life. I think this Kitacon was a lot better than last year’s Kitacon and I think it helped that I had prior experience and that there was not as many people this time around.

I’m always going to be ill and be faint in huge crowds and socialising with people but I can will myself to ignore the negative emotions and enjoy the good times that were presented to me. I had the courage to speak to more people this year than I did last year and I even managed two parties in a row.

I had some good moments and some rather bad moments but everything I did was a big fun learning curve and I’m really glad that I went. I’m growing in confidence year by year and I’m learning to be comfortable with new people as well as with my current friends.

I’m also learning not to put unnecessary pressure on myself as things will happen naturally if you live in the moment rather than plan the future.

WILL I GO TO NEXT YEAR’S KITACON?

I’m not sure. There are more positives than negatives about this year’s Kitacon, for me, so I do feel more encouraged to go than not to go. But, I still don’t like planning or thinking too hard about it as I will feel apprehensive.

 

Thanks a bunch for reading, I’ll see you next time. =)

Ryan^^/

Social Butterfly

It will seem very strange to say this but at this moment in timeI feel like a social butterfly.

 

For the past two or three weeks I’ve been outdoors, a lot. Most of my time is spent working on the garden and building the foundation for the summer house. However, I have actually been spending some time socialising with people. I’ve been doing a bit of DIY with my brother as well, something which I have never done before in my life.

 

Before going to Kitacon I went to watch Ant Man with a few close family members. It was somewhat impromptu, from my point of view. I had good warning but I got it in my head that I wasn’t going to watch this film until I had been to Kitacon so it did catch me off guard. I was ok watching the actual film and in a way it was a nice distraction from thinking about Kitacon. We talked about the film.

 

Some of you may already know that I go to yoga. I go to yoga every Wednesday mornings as it’s the class that has the fewest numbers which is my ideal class. It’s also the same class that do tea and biscuits afterwards. I was always kindly offered to stay but I always said no. I said no namely because I have to go back home to wait for parcels or avon and because I had a driver waiting, aka, Dad. One of the main reasons is because I do get very nervous in social situations and I never felt like staying.

 

My confidence coming back from Kitacon was fairly strong at that point so I decided to stay behind and socialise with my fellow yogis. My yogi instructor was most surprised and happy. Haha. It’s a nice group so I always thought about staying behind. I’m glad I did stay behind but I was nervous because I didn’t know what to say or do so I just listening mostly to what everyone else was saying. Will I stay behind this week? I won’t plan to. I’ll just see how I feel.

 

I was actually invited to a friend’s birthday party but my Bro didn’t ask me to come. He was aware that I was going through a big head-mush at that point in time and didn’t want to make it worse for me.

 

It doesn’t seem like I interacted that much by what I said in this blog but from my point of view I’ve done much more than my fair share or socialising with different people whether they’re family, friends or strangers. I’m in the frame of mind that I could easily talk to anyone, even if I do get a head mush or I do get dizzy from interacting with people in unfamiliar environments.

 

I managed to share my photography Kitacon gallery on the Kitacon Facebook page. That was also very brave of me as I don’t like standing out in crowds and I never speak to anyone publicly on social media pages. I might like posts on Facebook but I have never uploaded a galley or something to that extent… until now. The reaction was quite positive, to my relief and surprise, and one lady asked for an original photo so I facebook messaged a photo of her. I never thought I would do that!

 

Kitacon still seems like a very long dream. It just doesn’t seem real for some reason. I digress as this is about me being a social butterfly rather than Kitacon. Haha.

 

Socialising doesn’t require a skill or magical powers all you have to do is be confident and be who you are. Sometimes it will work out, other times, it won’t. It’s never easy or straightforward for me but people are just people. =)

 

Ryan.

Applying For a Passport

UK Passport Cover

Last Monday I went to an interview to apply for a British Passport.

I was a little nervous as I got the letter back from the Passport people saying that I was required to have an interview, which was not really a problem. It was my first time that I ever went for a passport interview. It was going to be a completely new experience, however, on the leaflet it says that if you have a disability and you need someone to be in the interview with you, please let them know. Mum came with me as I don’t travel by myself and in case I got anxious and didn’t understand the procedure.

As is so happens I totally forgot about the arrangement and only remembered the day before. Haha. So, the anticipation build up wasn’t as bad as it usually was. I can probably handle situations better when I don’t have too long to think about it.

I didn’t really know where this place was but I enjoyed having a good walk around in the warm sun. We found the place eventually and I went into the reception area with my parents.

We actually learned, there and then, that nobody was allowed in the booth with me. I started to get nervous at that point. The problem wasn’t me going in on my own it was the lack of understanding shown by the receptionists. This did not fill me with confidence. She was also rude to my Mum and was a little patronising towards her.

My Mum tried to explain why she would go in with me, not to speak on my behalf but to re-word questions if I didn’t understand them. This is a big occurrence in my life where I don’t always understand what people say, especially when they generalise. However, the receptionist wasn’t really listening or rather she was too busy enforcing the rules.

So far I wasn’t impressed with how unwelcoming the passport people were. If the receptionist was not very accommodating then how accommodating would the interviewer be? I started to lose confidence in the fact that they weren’t going to consider my needs. It seems like they don’t really cater for people with Learning Difficulties or Autism.

The interview lady eventually called me in and she was actually really nice and friendly. By the way that she was talking it seemed like she was more than familiar with people with special needs. She was very open-minded and she did seem experience when it came to communicating with people like me. All the interview questions were very simple to understand so I didn’t have any trouble answering her questions.

I spent about 25 minutes in there and I felt actually ok by the end of it. I was somewhat surprised how well I handled the situation, especially when the receptionist dropped the bombshell that I wasn’t allowed to bring someone in with me. I could have buzzed Mum to come in if I wanted but I was doing ok by myself.

I handled that situation really well actually but I was disappointed with the lack of consideration that the staff did show. It stresses in the leaflet that if you have Learning Difficulties and you need someone to come in with you then to let the passport people know. In a way, I did find this misleading. If it was clear that I wasn’t allowed to have support in my interview, then that would have been fine. But if it’s not ok, why mention it in the leaflet in first place?

I was more disappointed and bewildered by the principal of the staff not accommodating my needs, rather than going in by myself for the interview. However, it’s all done and finished now and I’m certainly losing no sleep over it. =)

THANKS FOR READING

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All I just have to do now is play the waiting game… by reading the rest of Is It Wrong to Try to Pick Up Girls in a Dungeon? Light Novel Volume 2. =D That’s such an awesome book and anime and I’m really enjoying it. For all I know the passport people might refuse my application but I’m pretty confident that they’ll accept it. =)

Thanks for Reading. =)

Namaste.^^/

Ryan.

Avengers: Age of Ultron Film Review

Avengers Age of Ultron

  1. GOING OUT

I knew that I really wanted to go and watch Avengers: Age of Ultron at the cinema this year, but was I going to go? Eventually, I decided to go to the last showing at a local cinema with Mum. We both really like Avengers and fancy to go and watch it whilst it was still showing.

I was somewhat optimistic. As last Thursday was the last showing and it was the day of the Election I anticipated that there wouldn’t be many people at the cinema. I was really nervous when I was going out as I didn’t know what would happen. I was more hoping than anticipating for a small crowd. I was fairly relaxed when I arrived there. I ordered a Full Blast lemon flavour drink and took my seat. Initially we were the only ones there but a few minutes before the actual showing more people came. Eventually there were around 20 people in their seats, including me. I felt ok as they were sitting a distance from me.

  1. FILM REVIEW

All of the best parts for me were the action and the comedy moments.

I thought it was funny how Captain America’s foul mouth became a regular occurrence. The other funny moments involved people trying to up Thor’s Hammer and the character Ultron.

I actually thought Ultron was amusing and it seems like he saw memories of all the avengers and took on most of their personalities. However, his personality is dominated by Tony Stark as he was the one who was trying to create him. I think Ultron is a complex individual and his intentions for humans to “evolve” are good but very twisted. I actually think he’s similar to Magneto in many aspects but probably not as complex as him. Ultron wasn’t doing bad things for the sake it, very much like Magneto.

I was a bit worried when Ultron did whatever he did to J.A.R.V.I.S. by trying to hack him or take him over. However, it turns out that J.A.R.V.I.S. didn’t get completely put down by Ultron and eventually became Vision with the help of Tony, Hulk and Thor. Vision became really cool and a bit of a complex character in his own right. I always wanted J.A.R.V.I.S. to do more as I think he really adds a lot to the story, and by becoming Vision it must have been rewarding for him. =)

It was simply humorous when Vision, or J.A.R.V.I.S. picked up Thor’s hammer and gave it to him casually. It sort of makes sense since that weird crystal thing is one of the most powerful gem crystal things in the whole universe. I think that gem combined with Tony’s technology created a brilliant humanoid. Vision said one of the best lines, “I was born yesterday.” I’ve never heard that line used in that way before. I was going to use that in my story but Marvel and Vision beat me to it. Haha. Not only did he have a good personality but his moves and powers were simply brilliant and with the help of Thor and Iron Man took out Ultron. =)

One of the best moments and fights for me had to be when Iron Man fought Hulk. He used that suit, Veronica, which was intentionally designed to keep the Incredible Hulk at bay. It was a bit like the Thunderbirds moment when his suit, Veronica, came from space and became a battle suit. I never known a satellite could also perform as a battle suit and I think it’s awesome. =D It was pretty intense and whilst I was really rooting for Iron Man to win I also didn’t want to see Hulk delve into any more despair. Luckily, Iron Man knocked him out before he could suffer anymore.

I was on the lookout for Quicksilver and Scarlett Witch. I knew they appeared in the Captain America: Winter Soldier film but for the life of me I couldn’t spot them anywhere. Of course, it all clicked when they appeared in this film. I knew they were siblings but I didn’t think they were the “twins” that appeared in the second Captain America film. I felt a bit daft for not realising that sooner but hindsight is a wonderful thing. =) I like them both. Scarlett Witch has those good abilities and Quicksilver can run really fast. A bit sad that they killed him off in the end, but… is he really dead? Or, are they trying to make us think that he’s dead?

Seeing Scarlett Witch and Quicksilver in this film makes me wish that the X-Men, especially Magneto, were part of the Marvel Cinematic Universe. I know in the Marvel Comics Iron Man goes toe to toe with Magneto and Magneto asks Iron Man to find his children, Scarlett Witch and Quicksilver. It would be nice if the Dad could meet his children but so far that won’t happen anytime soon. However, in the X-Men related films Magneto does meet Quicksilver in X-Men: Days of Future Past, but Scarlett Witch doesn’t appear in that film.

Anyway, the action was really exciting from Hulk busting people up, Thor using his lightning like a god and normal people like Captain America and Black Widow fighting with cool realistic stunts. Scarlett Witch’s telekinesis and hypnotic skills are great to see but I still like Iron Man and his suit of armour.

Black Widow’s romantic developed with Hulk was a little weird as I don’t really recall them getting close. As I recall Hulk went ballistic and chased after her. Haha. Perhaps I’ve missed something or there were hints in The Avengers Assemble film that I missed or forgot. I don’t disapprove of them as a couple, I just found it odd. =)

It’s great to see Nick Fury or rather, Samuel L. Jackson in the film and he helped out rescuing the people from that floating city. It’s nice to see Maria Hill as well and I’m pleased that Hawkeye became more relevant. I never knew he had a family and that secret worked well for him. =) I would have thought Pepper would have made an appearance but she was just mentioned. It’s disgraceful, haha. It’s great seeing War Machine and Falcon making small cameos, I never thought they would appear in the actual Avengers films.

I’m not sure who that villain at the end is supposed to be. Did he appear in Guardians of the Galaxy? I personally think he’s someone completely new as I don’t really recall seeing him at all. I don’t think he’s from out of space as that arm looks like is a human technology. In fact, I think it looks similar to Iron Man’s arm. Is he connected with that Hydra group that appeared at the beginning of the film?

Overall, I really, really enjoyed this film. I was slightly nervous as I thought Tony Stark was going to be the villain in the eyes of his Avengers compatriots as he was creating a weapon of mass destruction. Plus, Ultron’s personality is mostly based on Tony and Tony is not exactly the most selfless individual you would ever see. He’s also a mad scientist so he’s not the most sensible to begin with. In the end I’m glad all ended well… ignoring Quicksilver’s “death”.

  1. CONCLUSION

Two Thumbs-Up.^^/ (My Rating System)

Two Thumbs-Up

THANKS FOR READING

Hulk vs Iron Man Hulk Buster

I’m not sure if I will go and watch any more films at the cinema this year, I will have to see how I feel in the future. I do quite fancy Ant-Man so I may go and watch that. I always worry and get anxious through the anticipation of going out but I always manage to cope. =)

Right now, I’m going to get hot chocolate and watch episode six of Is It Wrong to Try to Pick Up Girls in a Dungeon? I really like that anime and it’s one of the things that I look forward to on a Friday night… or Saturday morning, as it is now. The Second Light Novel book is on root to my house and I’m going to give it a good read as soon as it arrives. =D

Thanks for Reading. =)

Namaste.^^/

Ryan

The Acting World: Autobiography Play (Part One)

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It’s show blog time!^^/

  1. INTRODUCTION

This blog is all about a play I wrote and starred in. This play is about my life when I was small. I showed everyone what it’s like to live with Autism and explained how I saw the world from my point of view. However, before I talk about the performance itself I feel that it’s necessary to dig further into the past. By doing so, it will explain a lot of things and my past going into the performance. It won’t take long. I promise. =)

  1. BEING DIAGNOSED / NOT SPEAKING

I was diagnosed with Autism around the age of 2, when I was attending nursery education unit. It was usual for children to attend the nursery for one year. However, since I was part of the special needs area I stayed there for 2 years. The doctor who diagnosed me with Autism said that I my quality of life will probably never improve. I will never look anyone in the eye, I will never engage in a conversation and I will more or less be trapped in my own world. For a few years, he was right…

When I turned 5 I started to attend a SEN school. It was literally just up the road from my old nursery, so that was a bit of good fortune.

In my school days, especially when I was younger, I was extremely quiet. Because I was quiet and was unable to communicate, the teachers found it hard to understand me. Not necessarily because to be mean, more likely through lack of knowledge/experience. They would often talk about me and my “problems” in front of me, assuming that I didn’t know what they were talking about. However, I could usually read the situation by their facial expression and tone of their voice.

The majority of my school life was frustration. The frustration of not being able to talk. I think I was probably capable of speaking but I didn’t know how to. I think my subconscious held me back from speaking and interacting with others. I was able to string sentences together when I was 10 or 11. Before then I just spoke words every once in a while. I even started to open up my bubble a little bit. I somewhat started to understand how the wide world works.

Being able to speak was good and it did feel like a massive personal achievement. However, since I started to speak, it did cause some troubles every now and again. I could speak, but I didn’t realise the words that came out of my mouth. From a teacher’s point of view, whatever I said, I must mean. I have said a lot of rude things that I didn’t realise were rude or inappropriate. I never meant to be rude or upset anyone so it was a big deal if I did this. This is where the frustration came in. The teachers took what I said at face value. If I said it, I meant it. I could never explain my words or what I meant. So, I had to end up apologising even if it was all a misunderstanding. Situations like this knocked my confidence completely and discouraged me from talking.

That was all just one part of the problem.

  1. QUESTIONING MYSELF

I went to the Bobby Charlton’s School of Excellence that one time, and I must say that it wasn’t a happy experience. It was the first time that I interacted with people who were “mainstream” i.e., secondary school students. Out of everyone in the local area I was the only “special needs” student that attended the whole programme. It was a big problem for me. As I was the only “special needs” student attending, there was a lack of understanding, I feel, for people like me. It seemed that the coaches in general were more used to secondary students rather than special needs students and so they didn’t really bear this in mind. The secondary students were not very understanding towards me either. They often whispered about me under their breath and called me “weird”, even when they were right next to me.

By lunch time I really wanted to go home. However, my pride kind of kept me there. In my eyes I refused to be defeated even if I did feel everyone there was against me. I strived to be as good as they were. That special needs students like myself could cope on the same stage as them. My hopes were dashed when I scored an own goal…

We all laugh about it now, especially me. However, it was a very humiliating experience at that time. It was also from that minute on that I started to question myself as a human being. Why was I being treated that way? Was it because I made that mistake? Was it because I was weird? Was it because that I had “special needs”? I started to dislike being in an SEN school, I started to dislike the mainstream people and I started to dislike myself. Why was I born like this? Why couldn’t I’ve been “normal?” I saw everyone who went to mainstream school as “normal” and myself as not normal. Haha.

  1. COLLEGE SUMMARY

I left my school when I was 18.

I went to a college that specifically catered to people with “special needs”. It went under the title of Supported Learning Department. I severely disliked being part of that department. I was determined not to go to that college because I didn’t want to go to that department. Haha. However, my local college didn’t offer the support that I needed. I was then offered a place at a different college which had an SLD department. I attended the SLD department for one year. I was lacking a lot of confidence and spent the rest of my experience being reserved.

However, I attended a Mainstream programme on a part-time basis, within the same college. It was the Performing Arts class. I felt happy yet very anxious. Was history going to repeat itself? Is this a chance for me to “redeem” myself? My thoughts were very conflicting and it was a constant battle with my own thoughts. In the end, I decided to be quiet and neutral when I attended these classes. If I didn’t say anything, then I wouldn’t get on the wrong side of anyone. I promised myself to not tell anyone about my Autism. I maintained that persona for most of my college life, even later when I started to attend that Mainstream programme full time.

  1. OPENING UP

Things got easier when I started University, which was based at that same college. Usually, I would have to attend the follow up course to prepare for University. However, all the tutors deemed that I was ready to start a full University programme, and I accepted a place on the foundation degree course. =)

On the first day, with a fresh new faces joining the course, I decided to tell everyone that I had Autism. With discussions with my tutor we decided that it would be best to tell them, and strangely, I felt ok with it. It’s probably the first time that I didn’t hesitate telling anyone about my Autism. I opened up to everyone and to my surprise no one isolated themselves from me. That was odd, I thought. Was I perhaps worrying for no reason? Or, is it because some of the Uni students were adults and they were more open-minded? Whilst I opened up to my fellow classmates and gradually started to be myself, I still kept my guard up.

  1. FINAL PERFORMANCE PIECE

It was March and we, the Uni second year students, were discussing what we could do, as individuals, for our “Final Performance” module. I was struggling for ideas myself.

All I could think to do was to do these bunch of comedy sketches that I had written myself. However, I wanted a decent mark and doing these little sketches wouldn’t constitute a high mark. Do I turn these sketches into a lengthy play? It was a concern. Comedy is my forte, I think, since it’s a style of play that I am most relaxed in. Although I was aware that this was my forte and it’s for my final performance piece, I anticipated that it was going to be a disaster. I would probably have been over the top when acting out the sketches and too energetic.

I spoke with my tutor about my concerns. I then spoke with him privately about an idea that I came up with on the spur of the moment. I did have some difficult times at Uni but I did remain mentally strong in most of situations. I appreciated my classmates and everyone I spoke to for making my Uni life easier and happier.

I’m not one for being sentimental so I wanted to thank everyone but cop out at the same time. So, I thought, what if I did a video to say “thankyou” to my classmates and to everyone else who had supported me. I was prepared to open up about all my worries and doubts and how everyone’s support had made my Uni experience much easier.

It was at that moment, Mr Ian said:

“I think it would be amazing if you did an Auto-Biographical Performance of your life with Autism.”

 

…there was a bit of silence. It took me a long time for this suggestion to sink in. An Auto-bio performance? Like an auto-bio book but in play form?

“Like, talk about my life?”

 

I asked, but deep down I knew full well what he meant.

“Absolutely. It has been done before.”

 

It really was a surreal moment. A bunch of things entered my head. It wasn’t that long ago that I revealed to my classmates about my Autism. I was still iffy about revealing more of my Autistic quirks. Could I manage to talk about my past and experiences? Thinking about my past is difficult, let alone talking about it. How would I fair?

Part of me was screaming “go for it!” but there was still doubt in my mind. I decided to ask for family and classmates opinions; somewhat hoping that some of them would oppose the idea. I asked… all of them thought it was a great idea. The votes were unanimous. Haha.

I had to think about this for a week. I did get stress thinking about it. Was this a good idea? In one way, this may be a good chance to get a lot of things off my chest. Then again, was this going to break me? Doing a performance about my life was certainly a lot easier than forcing comedy sketches to be funny.

  1. DECISION

A week went by and I made my decision…. Am I going to do a performance based on my life with Autism?

…yes.

Joining Tumblr

Tumblr logo

Good Tidings.^^/

On a spur of the moment I decided to open a Tumblr account.

Usually when I take action I have to think things over and make sure that I’m happy with what I’m doing. However, I decided that it would be a nice idea to become part of the Tumblr world as they seem to offer a different kind of vibe from WordPress. Admittedly, I was a little nervous at first because I usually never do anything bold without thinking it over. However, I think in the long run this was a good decision.

By what I’ve browsed so far it seems that users prefer to share pictures and animated GIFS more than posting blog posts. There are plenty of pictures I checked out, like characters from my favourite manga and Thomas the Tank Engine. =) I set it up so that whatever I post on my blogging site it will automatically post up on Tumblr.

Here is the link to my Tumblr account. I go by the same username:

ryanspeak.

THANKS FOR READING

Non Non Biyori Wallpaper

I’m not really sure how the world of Tumblr works but I’ll have fun finding out. =D

Thanks for reading.

Namaste.^^/

Ryan.

Smile

Mr Happy

Joyful Greetings.^^/

I try to show the positivity through my smile. I’m not always natural when it comes to smiling though, more specifically, I’m not natural when it comes to smiling outdoors.

I’m always too conscious of my surroundings to feel relaxed. When I come across someone in the street and they catch my eye, I usually two things… I would either look at them for a few seconds, waiting them to smile and I return the smile. Or, I would smile at them, but, my smile is actually a half-hearted grin… I sort of feel conscious when I look at someone and not smile. It makes me wonder if they think that I’m actually staring at them whilst plotting something evil in my brain. Granted, I always find it easier to smile at a pretty lady, but that’s another story!

Anyway-

Smiling is a very important part of life. For me, when someone smiles at me, I automatically smile back, and feeling very good about myself. In a way, a smile is like a greeting, just none verbal. When someone smiles at me, it literally makes me happier and makes me feel better about myself.

I smile all the time at home and when I’m hanging out with friends. There’s never a day or occasion goes by when I haven’t laughed. So, if smiling makes me feel better, then surely the same could apply to everyone else. So, as awkward as it can be for me, I try to smile at everyone, from family to strangers.

I smiled at a lot at my Sister’s wedding, to a lot of people. I especially smiled to those who I didn’t recognise. It boosted my confidence when the people returned my glance with a smile. Of course the wedding was a bit stressful for me, but, being smiled at has certainly lifted my spirits. =)

What I learned from socialising is that you don’t have to wait for people to initiate a smile before you return it in kind. If you feel like smiling at someone, then you should do it. They may not feel like smiling back as they could be going through time themselves. But, if you smile at that person, you might brighten their day, because they certainly brighten mine.

These are the reasons why I think smiling is quite an important part of life. Making people happy, seeing people happy is what makes me happy. =)

THANKS FOR READING

I saw an amazing quote today on a web page.

“If you have to choose between being kind and being right, choose being kind and you will always be right.”

This very quote made me smile even more. =)

Thanks for reading.

Namaste.^^/

Ryan