Negativity to Positivity: “What If?”

With Yoga it’s all about inner peace and enlightenment with yourself and others around you. It’s not necessarily about being bendy, that will come in time as it has with me.

My legs are more like rubber than bones now. 😀 Sometimes we overthink about the “what-if’s” rather than realize what’s actually true and what’s happening right now.

“What if”, from my experience, are triggered by thinking about the past and looking to the future. Of course I can’t change the past or predict the future so really there’s no point in worrying about things that won’t happen.

What if I was a football player? What if I went to a secondary school? What if I go to USA next month? I could literally go on and overthink but that doesn’t benefit me in the slightest.

Instead I just focus on what I’m doing now, in the present. At this moment in time I’m making some notes of my fantasy story then I plan to upload a picture and read Strike the Blood novel right before the Euros knockout stages. What a fun day this will be. =)

We all get into these traps of “what if’s” as it’s human nature to do so. And that’s when Yoga comes in. To me, yoga isn’t about seeking perfection, it’s about celebrating what human is and unwind from the stresses of work and over-thinking from daily lives and the “what-if’s.”

 

Hope you all enjoyed reading my blog,

Have a good day. =)

Ryan.^^/

Negativity to Positivity: Epiphany

reina_izumi_by_alphadeltazeta-d9ux73e

I think its human nature to get down in the dumps sometimes, and it’s happened to the best of us. It happens to me from time to time, especially when I’m tired or whenever I’m anticipating the thought of socialising with people.

Sometimes when I think about going out, it can trigger negative emotions in me. However, just because you feel sad or think sad doesn’t mean you should succumb to it. I can stop it, not by fighting those feelings, but rather, override them with the positives. And when I do, I end up feeling much better.

At the beginning of the year I had a throat and a chest infection. It was really bad and I had it for weeks. I couldn’t move, I couldn’t eat, I couldn’t read or go on the laptop as it made me feel dizzy, I felt constantly sick and I couldn’t talk without coughing. All I could do was lie down. It wasn’t a very pleasant experience and it was the worst I had felt in years.

I didn’t like feeling sorry for myself so I ended up willing myself to draw. ‘One little sketch couldn’t hurt’ I thought… I ended up doing back to back drawings and actually completed a full length comic based on the DanMachi series. It was the first ever doujin (fanmade comic) I’ve ever completed. I was really happy and fulfilled with my comic and additional art and gradually, I felt myself getting better because I was ignoring my illness and indulging in my own happiness.

Since my recovery I achieved a number of other personal goals too.

I suddenly had the urge to re-write my first children’s picture book and I completed it in a single day. I’m really happy with it and I feel that it’s much better than ever before. It’s now currently in the editing stage where I’m getting the opinion of family and friends alike before publishing it on Kindle. =)

The other big achievement for me is that one of my pictures was featured in the Kitacon Karnival booklet this year. My brother encouraged me to email the picture over to them and I thought “why not?” so I submitted a picture of Kirin Toudou from The Asterisk War anime and to my surprise and delight it was in that book! =D This year’s Kitacon convention was good and I enjoyed it more than last year as I managed to be brave and speak to more people.

There has been lot of good things that has happened to. I cooked eggs benedict based on Erina’s recipe from the Food Wars anime, getting my first ever platinum trophy which I achieved on the Atelier Shallie game, creating a YouTube Vlog channel about Football and most recently I received a like on a Twitter post from the one and only Alan Shearer… that truly was a heart-stopping moment. =D

*

What I’m trying to say really is that you can take the positives from the negatives, even when you are really ill. I took one positive from the time when I wasn’t in the mood to think positive and it has led to a lot of wonderful things, especially new and fresh ideas for my book which is especially important.

I will always get anxious whenever I’m about to go out as it’s an instant emotion that takes over me, but I will always claim my mind back as I should be able to think what I want, and feel how I want.

Anyway, this is the strategy that works for me and I thought I’d just share it. Now, I’m going to go and draw and make a start on my Birthday list. =)

 

Thanks for Reading,

Ryan.

Negativity to Positivity: Thinking Rationally

Mr Happy

Snow Tidings.^^/

I’m having a good start to the New Year. Unfortunately though my cold has come back, and I put that down to the fact that my home town has welcomed heaps of snow. It’s rather unfortunate as when I get a cold I tend to lack sleep and do a lot of over-thinking. In my case being unwell means not really thinking rationally.

I consider myself quite chilled and I can usually let things go and take each moment as it comes. However, when my body and mind is not functioning properly I do sometimes feel negative and re-visit past events which weren’t necessarily happy times. Sometimes it’s not necessarily re-visiting past events, it can be the little things that make me worry and feel negative, even if they’re not major issues.

Just now I was spoilt for choice which manga to read. I wanted to read all five at once and I wanted to watch anime as well, but I couldn’t decide what to do. Thus, I got myself a little worked up and was worrying unnecessarily. Worrying about this simple thing makes me worry about things that worried me in the past as well. It can be a recent worry or something from some time ago. Either way I tend to feel negative when I’m very tired and/or under the weather. I then worry because I’m sitting here and worry about worrying. Haha.

Normally I can think rationally but when I’m under the weather thinking rationally can be tough because my mind is not thinking straight. When I try to think rationally my mind gets really blurry because my mind is combating with many emotions and thoughts at once. Really, in this case, it’s easy to just try and force them out of your mind. But, I find that if I tell myself “don’t worry about it” I worry about it more because it’s still on my mind. Every little thing becomes a big deal.

But, even if the little things make me worry, it’s the little things that cheer me up. In this case, stuff like Non Non Biyori. I mentioned this anime heaps of times in previous blogs. I really do like this anime and I dare say that it’s probably my favourite anime of all time. If it isn’t then it’s definitely in my Top Five of my favourite anime. My feelings of watching Non Non for the first time is similar to the feelings of when I first watched Thomas the Tank Engine for the first time. I was simply excited when I heard that Seven Seas are going to publish Non Non this June and I can’t wait until it comes out.

Watching Non Non makes me forget about the little things that I’m worrying about. And gradually, those worries disappear. It’s not just Non Non that cheers me up, a bunch of little things cheer me up. I’m talking about drawing my comics, writing my story, reading manga and hanging out with my family. It doesn’t make me less dizzy but it does take the sting out of being under the weather. I feel relaxed when doing these things. Relaxing to me means being happy and focusing on things I like to do. And, I need to remind myself to go to bed early instead of staying up just for the sake of it. Haha.

THANKS FOR READING

 Non Non Biyori Wallpaper

My mission for now is to keep warm and keep enjoying myself. Publishing my book onto kindle is taking quite some time but I won’t worry about that. Feeling negative when you’re ill I think is natural and it can be difficult to get out of that slump… but it’s not impossible. =) I’m now going to go away and watch some Nisekoi. =D

Thanks for reading.

Namaste.^^/

Ryan.

Feeling Lucky

Non Non Biyori Wallpaper

Good Tidings.^^/

It’s been an awfully long time since I attended a yoga class. It’s both due to the Christmas period and coming down with a cold. I’m going to yoga tomorrow for the first time and I’m feeling somewhat anxious. I enjoy yoga but because I’ve not been for a good while I started to feel anxious as it’s currently out of routine. However, this evening, I felt a sudden ray of happiness.

I was cleaning my room and I suddenly realised what a lucky life I have. Apart from the minor cold, I have good health. I have a nice family and good friends. I also have a bunch of manga and anime goodies, including drama CDs, manga, a few figures and a heap of Thomas the Tank Engine memorabilia. I also have a bunch of DVDs and blu-rays of Iron Man and Captain America. I have a bunch of games from Super Mario to Atelier Escha and Logy to Senran Kagura. I also have the Non Non Biyori calendar 2015, which I’m especially thankful about. =D

What I’m especially thankful for is my own creativity. I can draw any time, write any time, and come up with the next story as I see fit. I can also use this opportunity to write a bunch of haikus whenever I feel inspired. The world is my oyster when it comes to being creative. =D

What I’m trying to say is that sometimes when I become familiar with everyday life I sometimes forget that I’m in a very good position in life. I would have said that I probably take things for granted but I don’t take things for granted, I just forget how lucky I am. So, next time I’m I’m feeling anxious, which will always occur every time I go out, I will remind myself the life that I’m living. And that is a happy one. =)

Thanks for reading.

Namaste.^^/

Ryan.

Applewood Farm Pub Quiz 2014

Applewood Farm

Ho, Ho, Ho.^^/

Coincidentally, it was around this time last year that I blogged about the Applewood Farm pub quiz. This time was more special than the time from last year.

A dear friend of ours came to visit from Norway. He’s really my brother’s friend but I said ‘ours’ because I consider him a friend of mine too.^^/ Since he was over here we decided that we were going to the Applewood Farm pub quiz. I was invited out on this occasion. Usually I would have to think about it for days. Instead, I said that I would go and deal with my anxiety when the time came.

*

I did get into a little bit of a head mush for a couple of hours before the outing. I had a lot of decorations to sort out, house chores and wrapping presents. I tried to think rationally. It then came to my attention that a completely new person was going to come and join our outing. I started to get apprehensive. I was not prepared to meet someone new. It wasn’t long ago that I had just got over the whole London trip so how was I going to fare going to the quiz with someone new?

This nearly swayed me out of the trip. I then remembered that our friend from Norway was attending. It isn’t often that he comes over and he was going back the following day. This would really be my last opportunity to see him for a while so I decided to go, despite my sudden rush of worries.

*

The taxi with my brother and co arrived. A strange wave of anxiety then rose up in my chest and stomach. The taxi he ordered was… let’s call them Taxi Company X. Now, this was a big problem for me. Taxi Company X gave me a hard time during my college/university days. They often made me late, they crashed into posts, they nearly crashed into other cars and they deliberately left me stranded. My parents complained about them at the time and I was switched to another transportation company to get to college/university.

I promised myself that I will never travel with them again. And I kept that promise…but my brother made me break it. Bro, if you’re reading, shame on you! (The fact that my brother knew nothing about my silent promise is neither here or there. Haha.)

In all seriousness, I understand that things could have changed since my university days. For all I know the evening service might be a lot more efficient then the contract service. Letting things go can be difficult depending on your own experience. On this occasion I needed to grit my teeth hard. Fortunately for me Taxi Company X were ok and they didn’t leave me stranded. Of course I won’t forget about the times when they made my life difficult but this was a good barrier for me to overcome. They still wouldn’t be my first choice of transportation.

*

In the taxi I tried to distract myself by making conversation. We talked about rubbish and I was sort of ok.^^/

The pub quiz was quite fun, our team were the Volvo Brothers, Volbros for short. 🙂 The puzzle round was mighty difficult. I’m not even sure if I can explain it… so I won’t. Haha.

I was debuting my new jumper and silky T-shirt too. It was a proud moment… until it was cut short. It came to light that I dropped bits of chocolate flakes down my jumper. “Oh no!” was my instant cry. I then pulled up my jumper to find more chocolate flakes on my pants. “Oooooh nooooo!” was my bigger cry.

You may have gathered, but I get somewhat careless when I eat. I even found one on my forehead. I have no idea how that got there! I don’t eat like Cookie Monster though. Honest!

*

The socialising side was much better than I anticipated. There was a chance that another lady was going to join in with the quiz on our team too. It was too short noticed for me to react or worry so I decided to just take it in my stride. I was adamant that I wanted to be on the end of the table as I sensed that I needed to dash off a couple of times.

Our team were placed 8th out of 37 with 61 points. I was most pleased. We originally counted up the score to 48 points. When we didn’t hear our names I suspected that we might have been disqualified. If you’re caught using your phone during the quiz or google the answers then you’re automatically disqualified. I know I used my phone once replying back to a friend but no more than that. I was concerned that we might have been disqualified due to a misunderstanding. Thankfully, I was wrong. =)

I bought my brother a pint of…carling, I think? I’m a tea total by nature and never touch anything alcoholic. His birthday is coming up so I figured I should treat him. It’s probably the second time that I bought him a pint, but I was on my own in this case so I was unsure if I was going to get an I.D. check. It turned out, I didn’t.

I seem to forget that I’m not as young as I used to be. In my head, I feel no different now than when I was 17. It’s weird yet fascinating how we age. I digress.

*

I somewhat interacted with other people. I grinned at the quiz master and he winked at me back. I smiled back at a random lady who was smiling when I was at the bar, getting hot chocolate with marshmallows and chocolate flakes. Yes, these are the exact same chocolate flakes that went down my pants and top. Haha.

I was somewhat caught up in the crowd and sort of backed off so I let everyone get through the door first. I don’t like heaps of crowd as some of you may know, so I decided to wait until the crowd died down to get out. This random chap asked me “where did you come?” I replied “eighth.” He then mumbled a couple of words, but I believe he was paying me and my team a compliment.

A young cute lady then said to me that they came in second. I beamed up and offered my congratulations when Mr Drunk interrupted and said that she was lying out of her…backside. Now that I think about it, she probably said thirty second and he misunderstood her. Then, when we were outside he offered up a fist gesture so someone would bump with him. So, I stretched out my arm and gave him a fist bump. Haha. Then he walked away…

I think that was probably the first ever time I gave someone a fist-bump. Haha.

THANKS FOR READING

It was certainly an eventful evening from my point of view, but in a way, it’s a good change of pace and most certainly a valuable experience, especially when handling people who have had a little bit too much to drink.

Jingle Bells until next time.

Namaste,^^/

Ryan.

Being Assertive

Enlightenment in nature

My confidence in socialising is growing. I’m also getting a knack with dealing with situations appropriately. If someone makes a rude quip I always tend to ignore it. Sure, I may get irritated for those next five minutes but I always manage to hold my tongue. However, what can be a challenge or what was a challenge is not getting on the bad side of others.

I was timid when I was at school and college. I was often afraid of disappointing or upsetting someone. If someone flirted with me, I’d let them even though sometimes I felt uncomfortable. If someone asked me to vacate my chair, I would. And if someone gave me a pound and asked me to do them a favour and get a snack for them, I would. I never did this to be popular, I did this so I didn’t disappoint. I built myself a reputation of making people happy, I felt like I had to do these things.

Throughout the years I did learn to be assertive and say ‘no.’ One time at college a drunken man stopped me during my walk and asked if I could give him a pound so he could buy a pint. I said, ‘no’ and walked on. The dude and his friend cursed after me as I walked on… I felt rather shaken after this. It’s not often that I said no but everyone I talked to said that I did the right thing. I felt better after this.

My confidence in saying ‘no’ did boost and made me feel empowered.^^/

I learnt that you don’t have to make others happy by humiliating or degrading yourself. That’s not what it means to make others happy. Making others happy means being nice to them and cheering them up if they need perking up. Those who force you to do things or pass judgement on you are not worth your time or energy. If they disapprove of you not wanting to do what they ask, that’s their problem.

I joined Instagram as one of my favourite past times is photography. This provides me with the opportunity to show everyone how I view world and things that make me happy. From time to time I get the odd user that would ask “follow 4 follow?” I.E., if you follow me on Instagram then I’ll follow you back. I’m flattered that someone would take their time to write a message on one of my photos. However, I have no interest in gaining followers just for the sake of it.

5 years ago I would have given into pressure and followed the user, anxious that he/she may disapprove if I didn’t comply. Now, however, I have no such worries. The only people that I’m following are those who I know in real life and those who are my real life friends. I do follow Charlton Athletic’s official Instagram page but they are a special exception. ^^/ If someone I don’t know wants to follow me, that’s no problem, but I don’t have any intention of following someone who I don’t know. It’s nothing personal; it’s just how I feel. That and it was never my intention of getting the most followers or being the most popular. My intention was to show the photos that I’m proud to show to the world. =)

Of course I still want to make others happy, it’s who I am. But, you shouldn’t have to degrade yourself in order to make others happy. If they have a low opinion of you or disapprove of you standing your ground, that’s their issue, not yours. =)

THANKS FOR READING

Non Non Biyori Wallpaper

I’m having a good day today. I watched some Football and the High School DxD Blu-Ray (stay tuned for a future anime review). I also heard that Monster Musume has topped the New York Times charts once again. Go MonMusu! =D

I anticipated that my next blog would be about anime, but I felt like writing this blog on the spur of the moment.

26 days and Christmas is here. =)

Thanks for reading.^^/

Hohoho,

Ryan.

My First Year Blog Anniversary

Party Popper

Blog Tidings.^^/

It seems rather strange that I have been blogging for one full year now and this was met by many adventures that I did during that period. =) I’m not sure how it started really. I believe I was just rambling on with my family when it came up in passing that I should blog about my experiences with Autism. I learned over the years that writing things down can release my unwanted tension and it’s another form of me expressing myself. =)

After careful consideration, I registered on WordPress and my blogging journey started…

I could talk about my year as a whole, but instead, I’ll just summarise and link to the blogs that I think are significant.^^/

  1. Introduction

This is my introduction which I wrote one year ago. =)

(http://ryanlikestospeak.wordpress.com/2013/11/16/introduction/)

  1. WWE Raw 2013

I went to WWE Raw with my circle friends. I used to be a big fan of WWE but this was the first time that I attended an actual wrestling show. It was daunting but it wasn’t as bad as I expected it to be. Plus, my favourite wrestlers were in attendance.

(http://ryanlikestospeak.wordpress.com/2013/11/28/wwe-raw-experience/)

  1. Segway

This was good experience and an instant highlight of the year. I arranged a birthday treat for my brother. This was the first time that I had actually arranged anything. I was also venturing into the unknown here. It was a little distance away but we both had a really good time and I would do Segway again without hesitation.

(http://ryanlikestospeak.wordpress.com/2013/12/07/segway/)

  1. Pub-Quizzing

On some occasions I would go to the Pub Quiz either as a night out or to celebrate a special occasion. I would often have to have a long think about whether I want to go out or not. Last month though, I went to the pub quiz for Cheese’s (the friend, not the dairy product) birthday celebration. Instead of needing to think I just decided to deal with my emotions when the time arrived.

(http://ryanlikestospeak.wordpress.com/2013/12/14/pub-quizzing/)

  1. WWE Royal Rumble

In early 2014 I stayed at my brother’s until the early hours watching WWE Royal Rumble. For some televised wrestling events I would often stay over. Usually after the event I spend the rest of my night sitting in a chair reading as I don’t feel comfortable sleeping in someone else’s house.

(http://ryanlikestospeak.wordpress.com/2014/01/31/wwe-royal-rumble-2014/)

  1. Completing a Writing Course

This was certainly a joyous occasion and I celebrated it with a pint of J2O. 😉 I learned a lot about writing and how to approach a publisher. Nothing has been happening for me and my books just yet but I believe I’m steering myself in the right direction. =)

(http://ryanlikestospeak.wordpress.com/2014/01/17/passing-an-online-course/)

  1. Positivity and Autism

Naturally, coping with Autism can be tough. I tend to over-think and read into situations that are not there.

(http://ryanlikestospeak.wordpress.com/2014/03/15/negativity-to-positivity/)

(http://ryanlikestospeak.wordpress.com/2014/10/18/negativity-to-positivity-over-thinking/)

  1. Visiting College

Visiting my college again was quite a challenge. I was invited back to college a few times to watch performances and to catch up with people but I declined those offers. I was out of routine and had become unfamiliar with everything.

However, this year, I decided to pluck up my own courage and visited. I thought long and hard about this invitation but in the last minute I decided to say “yes.”

(http://ryanlikestospeak.wordpress.com/2014/06/25/visiting-college/)

  1. The Wedding Blogs

I didn’t have much to blog about in July except for one…my sister’s wedding. That was a very significant moment and I achieved a lot personally on that day.

(http://ryanlikestospeak.wordpress.com/2014/07/28/the-wedding-part-one/)

(http://ryanlikestospeak.wordpress.com/2014/07/31/the-wedding-part-two/)

  1. Yoga

My outlook on myself and confidence is highly due to my regular practice in Yoga.

(http://ryanlikestospeak.wordpress.com/2014/08/23/my-yoga-journey/)

(http://ryanlikestospeak.wordpress.com/2014/10/05/my-yoga-journey-continues/)

  1. Film with a Friend

I went to watch the Transformers film with a friend… this was definitely a significant moment as this was the first time that I’ve been out with someone without a family member being present. The following day I went to the cinema with my Dad, and I took the initiative as he is less familiar with the procedure then I am.

(http://ryanlikestospeak.wordpress.com/2014/08/25/transformers-age-of-extinction-film-review/)

(http://ryanlikestospeak.wordpress.com/2014/08/26/inbetweeners-2-film-review/)

  1. Impromptu Outing

Going to an impromptu trip to a train station was an interesting challenge.

(http://ryanlikestospeak.wordpress.com/2014/08/27/journey-to-tumbleweed-station/)

  1. November Happenings

November was very busy month and was perhaps the most challenging.

I designed a Halloween costume dressed as the Shockmaster for my Brother’s Halloween party. The day after that I went to London to watch Distant Worlds: music from Final Fantasy orchestra at the Royal Albert Hall. As I travelled to London it was necessary for me to stay in a hotel, the first time that I ever slept in a bed that wasn’t my own… If that wasn’t challenging enough, I then travelled to Liverpool to watch WWE Raw.

(http://ryanlikestospeak.wordpress.com/2014/11/03/halloween-as-the-shockmaster/)

(http://ryanlikestospeak.wordpress.com/2014/11/05/london-trip-part-one-the-preparation/)

(http://ryanlikestospeak.wordpress.com/2014/11/07/london-trip-part-two-the-london-experience/)

(http://ryanlikestospeak.wordpress.com/2014/11/11/london-trip-part-three-the-final-fantasy-concert/)

(http://ryanlikestospeak.wordpress.com/2014/11/13/wwe-raw-and-liverpool-experience/)

BLOGGING

I believe I still have a lot to learn where blogging is concerned. What I have learnt though is that at times I probably forced myself to blog about stuff if I felt that I should blog about it. I like to think that in one year I developed my own style of writing and blogging. I consider myself always upbeat and looking on the happy side of life.

What I learnt is that I need to enjoy what I’m writing and I would often remind myself that all these blogs are from my own point of view. I tend to get the best out of myself if I enjoy writing, especially when reviewing film and manga. It can be hard at times since I find it difficult to summarise but thankfully I have my editor (aka Mum) to help me out. 😉

I find as well that if you don’t force yourself to blog you will have more things to talk about.

I feel a lot better when I’m blogging as it’s a good way to express myself. However, it came to light at times that viewers from all over the world are actually reading what I have to say. I’m also aware that some of my blogs have put smiles on the faces of my friends.

Making people happy is what motivates me to continue writing and blogging. Being happy is important, and if I’m making someone happy then I intend to keep up with that flow! =)

THANKS FOR READING

Two Thumbs-Up

I summarised my whole year to the best of my abilities. How did I do? Did I waffle too much? Haha. Well, I had to figure out how I was going to write this blog. In all honesty, it wasn’t a tough as I anticipated. All I had to do was sum up what I did and share my adventures from last November to now. =)

I hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it. I can’t wait to see what my future adventures will involve next.

See you next time.^^/

Namaste,^^/

Ryan.

WWE Raw and Liverpool Experience

Raw in Liverpool

Winter Greetings.^^/

  1. Post-London, Pre-Raw

A lot has happened in November, especially around the time when I went to London. I found that even though I came back home, I still couldn’t really relax my mind. It seemed that everything was happening at once and I was dealing with lots of things at the same time. If it’s one thing, I usually find a way to work with it. However, too many things give me a head mush. At that point it did feel like my head was about to explode.

To cut a long story short, I had to make a decision whether I wanted to go to a surprise birthday gathering and to WWE Monday Night Raw with a few of my peeps. For the life of me I could not decide what I wanted to do. I enjoy celebrating the happiness of other people but I decided to reject the party invitation in the end. There would be lots of people there that I did not know. I didn’t fancy it in the end and decided not to go.

*

I haven’t watched Raw in weeks. I sort of lost interest in WWE since Daniel Bryan and Bad News Barrett became absent. Did I really want to go to this live event when I wasn’t feeling very well? Not just any event, but an event that I’m not really that into at the moment. I literally decided to go in the last minute, an hour before I was being picked up.

It was at that point when I started to rush around. I had a shower, washed my hair, picked out my clothes and had dinner. I got it in my head as well that we were eating out, but I received a text explaining that we weren’t…oh my. So, with quick thinking, I had jacket potato with melted cheese. I fancied doing beans but as I was on my own I didn’t want to risk doing anything to myself. It’s one thing to harm myself if my parents were around, but if I’m on my home and cooking, that could spell trouble…

I tried to relax, but I couldn’t fully relax. I felt sick, dizzy, had a poorly chest and was eating a luke warm jacket spud. Haha…you’ve got to laugh in those situations. =) I decided to go to Raw as I already paid for my ticket, and, it could be interesting.

  1. Liverpool

The other reason I didn’t want to travel to Raw is because it was in Liverpool. Travelling to this city appears to be a bad omen to me. Throughout my life, every time I go to Liverpool, something goes wrong. It’s not that I dislike Liverpool it’s just that Liverpool dislikes me. XD

  1. I was going to college (which borders Liverpool) but went to the completely wrong campus! I think the driver was taking me to the technology campus. So, I was an hour and a half late for my first college class…. Later on, it was established that I was in the wrong class. Then, it was established that I was actually in on the wrong day. So yeah… I won’t forget about that day in a hurry!
  2. My Dad was taking me to Liverpool, since he used to be the kit man for a none-league side, when we broke down… the policeman helped us, but he came up to me and said ‘this is all your fault!’ It took us a full day to travel back home.
  3. I went to Liverpool to support the Foundation Degree students by watching one of their theatrical productions. However, we got completely lost and had to turn back. We asked for directions but none of the locals knew where the performance location was… silly people.
  4. I was going to perform as the violinist at the Maritime Museum and we were going to take the train, but…the train was cancelled so we had to walk in the scorching heat, take 4 buses, one underground train, and we made it with 15 minutes to spare. We only had time for one full rehearsal.
  5. We went to the theatre to watch Jonathan Pryce in a Harold Pinter production, but the show was cancelled because he was ill…

I really hoped that this trip to WWE would break my trend. I’m sure some day Liverpool and I can settle a truce and drink a J2O like old buddies. =) …that night wasn’t going to be one of those days though, as an incident occurred. It’s a recurring joke that I bring bad luck to Liverpool, but what happened was not a funny matter.

There was a car crash on the motorway involving four cars, which in turn made the roads very busy. I felt instantly bad. I thought “they had a crash because I came to Liverpool.” Thinking rationally now, that’s not really the case. Accidents happen all the time, especially when drivers get impatient on the road. Regardless of everything, I pray that they are all safe and recovering at the speed of light.^^/

  1. WWE Monday Night Raw

We just made it with five minutes to spare. It was an absolute rush. I don’t handle travelling very well, I tend to get sick. I felt unwell to begin with, but the long journey didn’t really settle me. It unsettled me more when we had to rush to our seats, and that took a while too. A gent actually hijacked one of our seats so we had to ask him to move.

The show started pretty quickly. Well, actually, it began with WWE Superstars. Then, it went to WWE Raw. All the while I was still battling with my emotions and tried to focus on the show. The trick I used was taking photos and video clips for my Uncle. I sat on an end isle seat as I could escape whenever I want. However, the Echo arena was a very big arena and I didn’t really fancy getting lost in that building. Haha.

The biggest chants were “Where’s our network?” Apparently, this does not bode well with the WWE officials. When Raw was on TV, they edited this out as best as they could. Other bigger chants were Miz and Mizdown, Dolph Ziggler, Big Show, Sheamus and the crowd.

The crowd were bantering with each other. If the match bored them then they would find a way to entertain themselves. One guy held up a sign but he had that confiscated by a security gent and everyone chanted “you sold out!” The biggest boos were directed at another security guard. The bottom crowd were playing around with a beach ball during the Sheamus and Rusev match. He got heavily boo’d when he confiscated the beach ball, probably more than Cena. They chanted “you suck!”

The intro was funny, when everyone chanted “John Cena sucks” that went along with his entrance song. The UK really does have a good crowd.^^/

I didn’t join in with any of the banter as my head was really bad and I felt unwell. The sheer noise was not very pleasant, and it did detract from the Raw show somewhat.

Paige got a few standing ovations. I know I stood up and clapped, and I even went down a few steps so I could snap a good picture of her. =) I liked how Lilian Garcia sang our national anthem, it was sweet and touching. Some of the top tier crowd were booing though and chanting about the network. I thought that was disrespectful and in bad taste, but I just ignored them and listened to the anthem.

I also liked the Sting promo and Triple H making an appearance. I kept on anticipating Bad News Barrett making a sudden appearance though, and was gutted when he didn’t.

When the show finished we all darted out asap. I thought the show was ok but I was certainly glad when it was over. I would say that I’ve enjoyed last year’s Raw more, this year I somewhat lost interest in WWE and I was going through a lot this time around. I am focusing on what I enjoyed about the show though, rather than recalling what went through my mind at that moment. I know I’m talking all about it now, but I’m feeling much better and more open to talk about it. =)

  1. Going home

I was asked if I wanted to take a detour to McDonalds on the way home. I declined. It didn’t matter whether I was hungry or not, I just wanted to go home. When I got home my Dad bought me and my Mum McDonalds. I was pleasantly surprised as I didn’t know that there were any McDonalds that were open 24/7.

I’m not a fast food lover, but sometimes fast food is better than no food. 😉

THANKS FOR READING

I was spotted on TV courtesy of a close friend. It’s a blur, but my T-Shirt has made it on TV. I was spotted during Paige’s entrance. Haha. Fame at last. =D Here is the picture.^^/

Me on TV

I wasn’t going to upload this blog until I give account of the 1st Year Anniversary blog, which I plan to post on the 16th November. I’m still recovering from a very busy couple of days. However, my gut instinct told me to upload this blog right now instead of waiting.

With all that is said and done, I can finally relax. I have nothing pressing to focus on. It’s always important to remember to focus on the positive points. It can be hard at times when your head is in a mush, but it’s not impossible. And I like to think that I’m capable of doing that, even when I’m not in the best state of mind.

I endure a lot inside with my Autistic quirks but I always mask my face and feelings with a smile. =)

See you all for now.

Namaste,^^/

Ryan.

Negativity to Positivity

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Good day!^^/

I consider myself to be a very positive person as I naturally look at things on the bright side rather than on the bleak side.

But, like most human beings, I do have my fed-up moments. Sometimes it stems from lack of sleep, sometimes it stems from other sources. Naturally, when one is thinking negative, your mind will play tricks on you. You remember the past times when someone has said something that cheesed you off. Or, you anticipate scenarios that may happen and how you would deal them and make yourself heard. But in reality, if that situation did occur, you would actually be completely different. Because, at the end of the day, imagination is one thing but reality is something different.

That’s at least how I think whenever I think negative. Stress, anxiety and uncertainty can come easily for an Autistic person since it’s the littlest things that can be actually the biggest things. I’m no exception. I’m positive but I do have my moments. I especially don’t like sudden visitors or getting invited out on an impromptu outing. By all means I handle these situations a lot better than I did in the past but my Autistic side does play mind-games with me, a lot.

This week has especially been unlucky for me.

This doesn’t really involve me per se but I am quite saddened by the sacking of Chris Powell from Chartlon Athletic. I’ve supported Charlton since I was 9 years old and I remember him from his playing days at Charlton. I got an autograph from him once but that’s another story. Charlton reached the Quarter finals and played Sheffield United. Unfortunately they lost but all credit to Sheffield United; they showed that they belong in the FA Cup. I was disappointed with the loss but I was just happy that they reached so far in the FA Cup because we’ve always been unlucky when it came to cup competitions.

During Badminton this week, I go every Monday, a shuttlecock landed on one part of the climbing frame. I offered myself as leverage for my brother, but he somehow mistimed his jump and landed on my back in a squat position, it was like a knight landing on a horse from a castle. XD With a lot of willpower I managed to jump at a good height and retrieve the shuttle cock, but then came the more challenging prospect…getting down! I got down safely (eventually) but had very sore arms, a sore back and a twisted hip (don’t ask how that happened, I don’t even know myself. XD)

Over the course of the days I could barely walk. Then came the part where I was making everyone a cup of tea…I went in the cupboard to look for something when something fell out of the cupboard and went straight into my drink but completely avoided both my parents’ cups! XD!

However, all is not lost. I have a lot of techniques for wiping the negativity from my mind. I may think negative thoughts but luckily I’m able to guide them out of my head and into the bin. =)

Technique One: Don’t think about the thing that’s in your head.

You’ve probably heard this many times. I agree, it is easier said than done, especially when you’re wound up and/or upset. But, it actually isn’t all that difficult, it’s much simpler then you think. What I do is, instead of wiping it from my head I just replace it with something that I enjoy and/or love. That way, I grow positive vibes inside my stomach and whatever was making me mad before has long since flushed down the toilet. 😉

Technique Two: Yoga

A lot of people, who are not familiar with Yoga, often say “Oh, it’s just about being bendy!” Yes, yoga does give you more core strength and enables you to bend like a professional contortionist but it’s much more than being “bendy.” Yoga is all about finding inner peace.

I always come away from Yoga feeling nothing but calm and positivite. Doing certain stretches, postures and tranquil visualisations inside my head makes me feel like I’m releasing a bunch of negative energy in one go. Likewise I found that twisting my hips and stretching my body makes me feel relaxed and happy. They say that your emotions lie within your hips and waist and I believe this is true. I mostly exercise my hips and waist but I always end up happy. It sends happy vibes to my head and to my chest.^^/

Technique Three: If you can’t change it, why worry

If something is out of my hands, I just don’t really bother worrying. If something can’t be done, it can’t be done. There is no point in fretting over things that are out of my control. Like when Chris Powell got sacked from Charlton. I’m sad about that but being sad won’t change the fact that Powell is no longer their manager. So, I just remind myself how much he has done for the club. And no matter what happens to Charlton, even if they get relegated to the Conference South, I will still support them always. =)

Technique Four: Talking

Venting out your feelings, crying and whatever is also helpful. Nothing good comes from when you’re bottling up negative energy. If you need to release it and cry then cry. I don’t really need to cry since I don’t get overly emotional about things but I do need to talk. I need to talk to clear my head and to express my anxiety. Sometimes you can give the best advice and lend an ear, but like most humans, you will ultimately need to be given advice and have someone to lend an ear for you. It doesn’t make you a hypocrite, it means that you give awesome advice but you’re still a human being.

Technique Five: Focus on things that you enjoy.

So, the things that I enjoy…

  • Writing my stories since I’m expressing my imagination
  • Drawing. I like to draw my character but I also like to draw fanart.
  • Watching Anime like Heaven’s Lost Property, Non Non Biyori or Is This a Zombie?
  • Read manga like Monster Musume
  • Play games like Mario, Worms
  • Listening to music, mostly the Non Non Biyori soundtrack.
  • Listening to the wind and rain
  • Yoga, I do Yoga poses and Capoeira moves every day, if not, every other day
  • Watching plenty of comedy, like Only Fools and Horses and Alan Partridge
  • Watching films like Iron Man, Man of Steel and Rush Hour
  • Thomas the Tank Engine and Friends
  • Photography. I love taking photos of nature, birds, people’s shadows and unusual perspectives.
  • Talking with my family and friends. I mostly like to hear about their day rather than speaking about my day
  • Having a nice long bath and washing my hair
  • Fresh orange juice and water…it’s odd but drinking cool drinks can make me feel very energetic whereas hot drinks can make me feel tranquilised.

 

Technique Six: Sleep

It helps clear your mind and recovers your body from fatigue.

The point I’m trying to make is that you should apply whatever technique suits you in order to rid yourself of negative thoughts. I have plenty of ways and I sincerely hope you enjoyed reading about what techniques I apply. =D!

Have a Good Weekend everyone,

Namaste. ^^/

Ryan