April Updates

Hello.^^/

For the past couple of weeks I’ve been very busy with all kinds of things. I’ve been out socialising, continuing my outside projects and helping out with various tasks.

I got back into swimming a couple of weeks ago. I was hesitant in both weeks as the pool was filled with adults and children and we nearly bumped into each other a few times. I do my best to read situations but sometimes you learn things through experience rather than logic, even if you practice the scenario 100 times in your head. Haha.

I’ve been out a few other times as well and watched Wrestlemania at my brother’s and hanging out at Starbucks. My bro and I were both laughing because the gentleman that served me thought my name was Ray, not Ryan. I was chuckling to myself at that silly moment whilst gazing at nothing in particular when a lady, who stood near us, looked up and smiled at me. I felt a little awkward at that moment it looked as though I’ve been staring and smiling at her all that time. Of course this wasn’t the case and I would understand if she thought if I was bonkers but I will take a smile over a frown any day!

 

We had a lot of visitors at my home throughout the week and I helped to look after my niece twice this week on the same days as yoga and swimming. All was well when I felt something was off when I came back from yoga. I don’t know why but I felt very dizzy and lethargic and at one point I thought I was going to be sick. Why was I suddenly feeling ill? I had no idea why. The answer came to me quickly, a combination of lack of sleep and not giving myself enough time to recharge my batteries.

It has been a challenging week for me personally. I usually take things easy but lately I’ve been busier than ever and I’m not used to socialising with others more than once a week. Deep down I’ve probably withheld my stress and doing my best to persevere. My body and mind needs to slow down and take things easier, especially with things that aren’t in my control. It didn’t help that I got back into the habit of going to bed late and waking up very early.

It’s all ok though, as soon as I recognised something was wrong I tried to listen to the current conditions of my mind and body. What would cheer me up? Once decided I had a deep bath, watched Non Non Biyori and wrote some notes on my fantasy story. The only way I get rid of my negative thinking is to not try to force it out but to accept it and override it with something that makes me happy and only then will the negatives wash away. It works every time.

I feel it’s important to remember that even when I’m having an off day I know what makes me happy. =)

 

I also made the sad decision to get rid of my Lady Lamp. I’ve had it since I was sixteen but throughout the years it has been pretty much decaying to the point where it couldn’t be fixed. It was a very big decision and letting go of attachments is never easy. I was upset at first when I decided to let it go but I got used to its absence very quickly. It’s reassuring for me that I’m able to let go of materialistic attachments, especially something as precious as my Lady Lamp.

 

All these events remind me that no matter how challenging life gets things will turn out well in the end. =D

 

I like to talk about my current thoughts on anime and manga but I’ll leave that for another time. =)

 

Thanks for reading,

Ryan. =)