Attachments, Cleansing and Achievement

Elsa

Yesterday I achieved something special.

Ever since I was little I had this thing where I held attachments and had great difficulty letting go. Whether that’s letting go of past memories or physical objects it’s always been a problem. I think Autism does play a part in this but ultimately I became accustomed with this personality trait. All of this was an issue because I attached myself onto these things and I felt these memories or physical objects defined who I was when I was still finding my feet growing up.

Yesterday I decided to sort out my entire room before Christmas and I actually managed to throw out a lot of things that I haven’t used or seen for 10 years. I even gave some books and clothes to the charity shops as they were wasted in my wardrobe. I felt emotional as getting rid of things was not easy but I managed to tame my emotional attachment side and was resolute in my goal and decision.

It’s also worth pointing out as it feels appropriate that I’m only ever sad whenever I recall my younger years and childhood. In turn I’m at my happiest when I’m in the present focusing on my artwork and stories.  Why trap myself in the past where I’m living in the realm of what really matters; the present. With that in mind I decided to get rid of all the sources that link me back to my past. I partly did that throughout the years but I decided to get rid of everything whilst I was feeling motivated.

Yes it was emotional doing it but right here and now I feel cathartic and for the first time I drew my pictures and watched Match of the Day without so much as a fleeting thought.

 

Knowing not to reminisce is one thing but to put that into practice takes time and I feel I probably needed time to let go. I haven’t been able to do that until now. So, from this moment on I will not reflect on my past in my future blogs as that will defeat the object of my achievement. I will do what I’ve already been doing and that is discussing my current news, my art, anime and generally things that are relevant to me.

 

Christmas is coming and it couldn’t have come at a better time.

Thank you for reading. =)

Ryan.

 

ps, I also watched the anime film “Fireworks”. I enjoyed it very much. It was another great experience to watch an anime film at the cinema. =)

November Updates

It’s now November. As soon as Halloween finished everyone started to advertise Christmas, which I wholeheartedly approve. =)

 

General News

I don’t really celebrate Halloween as passionately with Birthdays and Christmasses but I did try to get into the spirit when I played board games at my Brother’s Halloween Party. It’s always good fun but I do find myself confused with the rules. At one point I was so focused reading the rules that I accidentally knocked over my J2O all over my Brother’s cards. Whoops!

It was my Mum’s Birthday last Saturday and for her Birthday I got her Disney Crochet Patterns book and a Beauty and the Beast picture that I painted for her personally. I’m thankful that she likes it because it took me a long time to draw and colour it. It was especially difficult because Disney is not my style so it was tough to adapt, but with great fortune I managed it. =)

I watched Kingsmen: The Golden Circle at the cinema with my Brother and afterwards visited the Hard Rock Café to have drinks. That evening did take a toll on me because it was very busy with lots of people, both inside the café and around it because of the Little Mix concert.

I did embarrass myself at the bar by asking for a marshmallow J2O. Why I did this is still a mystery. Putting that aside indulging in that calming yet active atmosphere was a good experience. I wouldn’t want to go out every week but I would certainly like to come back one time to the Hard Rock Café. =)

 

Fun News

During my breaks of writing, drawing and looking after my niece I’ve been indulging on my Nights of Azure game, the second instalment, Bride of the New Moon. I’m really enjoying it. It feels a tad weird not seeing Arnice or Lilysse in it but it’s still good nonetheless.

Thanks to the previous games of the Atelier Series and the first Nights of Azure I have a firm grasp how to play the game. I have good idea the location of the plot, how to strengthen weapons, how to enhance specific items and so on. This time I bought the normal edition for the Nintendo Switch so the efforts it’s probably not as rewarding as it might be for the PlayStation 4, trophy wise, but I find it more rewarding that I’m able to progress through the storylines without online tutorials. I’m figuring everything out for myself and I can enjoy the story and gameplay without worrying about achieving the trophies in the process.

Playing it for the Switch is beneficial as I can play it anywhere. I know there’s the Vita but with Nights of Azure I’d rather play it on the Switch with a controller than on a handheld like the Vita.

In hindsight I probably should have bought the limited edition which comes with extra goods, like the DLC, but that’s not really important. What’s important is my enjoyment of the game which I’m enjoying very much.

I’m doing other things besides Nights of Azure. I’m playing Senran Kagura PBS for the PS4 and New Game! for the Vita. I practice Yoga every day and I’m reading manga/light novels before bed. I’m currently reading How a Realist Hero Rebuilt the Kingdom volume 4 and just made it to chapter 5. As soon as I’ve finished reading that I’m going to read In Another World with my Smartphone volume 5. I considered reviewing all volumes from 1 to 5 in one swoop but that would be too much of a hassle so I may settle to just reviewing the newest volume if the mood strikes me. =)

 

Art News

I’m taking some time from my schedule to study some art books. I have confidence in my ability right now but studying fantastic art and artists will not only help me improve but it will inspire me more and give me clearer ideas for my future illustrations. Luckily I have ideas I’m already working on but I really want to take my time with them.

I feel I get better with every picture I draw. I can visualise the content of my pictures much clearer, and that makes me very happy.

 

I’m going to attend the Doki Doki Festival over the weekend. This will be quite a big event for me as I arranged the trip to go there with my brother. It’s the complete unknown and I am somewhat apprehensive about it but ultimately I think we will enjoy it. =)

Thanks for reading.^^/

Ryan.

September Updates

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Hello everyone, I wanted to share my latest updates.

2017 is certainly moving through the seasons rather quickly, at least for me. I see this as a good thing as I’m choosing to enjoy life rather than worry about the flow of time. =)

 

I have watched three films at the cinema in the past month and that is rather adventurous for me. I watched Spiderman Homecoming twice and the anime film, Your Name.

I’m used to watching Marvel films at the cinema but I’ve never watched an anime film on the big screen before so admittedly I was apprehensive. When I was invited to watch the latter I did panic and didn’t think rationally but in the end I decided to go and watch it. I’m glad I did. Your Name isn’t my kind of genre, I don’t usually like drama-twisting plots or tear-jerking moments but it is a beautiful film with a lovely story. The graphics and sound were especially spectacular. I wouldn’t watch it again but watching this on the big screen was a very memorable experience.

Sometimes you have to ignore the roadblocks to reach the end of the destination and that was what I did and what I will always continue to do. Some days are harder than others, and this was one of those times. ^^/

 

My personal projects are going very well and I will unveil some of them over the next few weeks. I really enjoyed drawing requests and I found it rewarding knowing that I’m making people happy with my pictures. However I stopped accepting requests because I wanted to focus on drawing illustrations for myself.

 

WORKS IN PROGRESS

  • Sketches: I have a lot of messy and clean sketches to share which I have completed over course of the months. I will eventually share them online.
  • Anime Girls: I’m cracking on with the “Anime Girls” theme and have several near completion. Aletta and Kuro from Restaurant to Another World, Rem and Hestia, and Arma from In Another World with my Smartphone. I’ve also sketched Grayfia from High School DxD but that still needs tweaking and won’t be finished for a good while.
  • Original Characters: Following Cherub I created a batch of characters. These will take a while to complete because I want to study the profiles of each lady before I publish them online. I am in the midst of inking another Gaia illustration so that will probably be done in the next few weeks depending on my schedule.
  • Comic: I’m very excited about this experimental project and I can’t wait to unveil it. =)
  • Akeno: I’m working on a picture that features Akeno Himejima. I’m in the process of deciding on a background. I’m also excited about this picture.

 

I’m really enjoying all of my projects but none more so than my comic and Akeno. =)

 

I hope September treats you all kindly, thanks for reading. =)

Ryan.^^/

My Birthday 2017

It was my Birthday a few of days ago and I had a wonderful day.

I received nice Birthday messages, thoughtful cards and wonderful presents. The highlight of the day, I must say, is when my two year old Niece said to me “Happy Birthday Bro” because she calls me Uncle Bro. She’s very sweet and clever.

I don’t like a huge fuss or be the centre of attention I just like to spend a quiet peaceful day with my family. I woke up very early so I spent some time in my summer house editing one of my stories whilst listening to the birds singing. During the day I played Mario Kart with all my family and we then stayed up to the early hours watching One Punch Man. It’s fortunate we’re fans of the show and was worth the lack of sleep, haha.

A tad off subject but just thought to bring up something I recently learned about myself, how I used to fear failure.

This fact is important because it explains my thoughts, my obsession with being perfect and having a spotless record in every academic subject and emotional stress that extends back to my childhood. It’s only these past couple of years that I became more laid back and started to accept my weaknesses and being open to making mistakes. Yoga and Art helped me to make peace with my fear that isn’t really such a fear anymore, more of a dislike.

Back on subject- I had a wonderful day. It’s going to be an upheaval task trying to remember that I’m 29 but then again age isn’t really important, it’s more about how you feel. =)

 

Thanks for reading. =)

Ryan.^^/

2 Years

From time to time I look at my older art and with some of them I think “you could have done that better,” and I’m confident I would. This doesn’t mean I’m not proud of my past works though, I see them as progress to the artist I am now. They remind me how I started and where I was 2 years ago.

 

So much has happened since then. I was excited when one of my pictures received one view but now, since the beginning of the year, I’ve been receiving dozens of requests. It’s the sort of thing I didn’t think could happen, the idea never truly entered my head as a possibility. I’m still amazed by it all, even when I’m receiving requests now. =)

 

I decided to take a break from requests for the time being as I’ve been working on multiple backlogs since Christmas and I’ve also had spells of being unwell perhaps due to tiredness. I have taken a couple of short breaks between requests but have now decided to take a longer break to “recharge my batteries”. I do love my drawings I just think I’ve been a bit over-enthusiastic and perhaps not rested as much as I should have.

 

I hope to produce a picture to celebrate my own personal achievement for the last two years. My initial achievement was being brave enough to share my very first picture publicly but now the other achievement is making others happy with my drawings. =)

 

Thanks for your support, everyone.^^/

May Updates

Aoba x Hifumi

Hello.

Here I am, reporting in my monthly update.

Not so long ago I chipped a tooth and booked an appointment to get it checked. I was somewhat anxious as it would be my first ever filing… or so I thought. My Dentist told me my “chipped tooth” was in perfect condition with a tiny scrape at the top. I felt much better after this, I was anxious over nothing. =)

For the past few weeks I’ve been very poorly. I was suffering with bad dizzy spells to the point where I couldn’t draw and lost my balance whenever I walked. On top of that I caught a cold in the process.

I wondered if it was because I had been drinking decaf tea for over a week as opposed to my normal regular tea, so I switched to regular tea… only to experience no sleep that very same night. The dizzy spells seemed to have disappeared though. Haha!

I’m more or less better now I just need to rest more and sleep better. I do feel up to drawing more requests so I’ll resume them this evening. =)

Thanks for reading. =)

Ryan.^^/

PS, I’m learning Japanese, more specifically Kana. I now understand the difference between Hiragana, Katakana and Kanji. Hurray. =)

March Updates

Pre-Natal Class Picture

Hello.

Many good things are happening lately and here we are now in the third week of March. It feels as though everything is happening in such a short space of time, especially art wise. This is an exciting time for my art journey. =D

Sadly I did lose a lot of steam and I’m still ill as of now, it’s one of the reasons why I decided to not accept any more requests until April. It still hurts to talk and I was unable to vlog fantasy football for the past couple of weeks. Thankfully I’m not as bad as I was, if I keep disciplined and continue to relax I should be better sooner than later. Admittedly I never like to rest, I always like to keep busy and work from morning till night. That’s not working for me so I gave myself cutting off points to chill out a bit before bed.

I drew a picture for a dear friend of mine who is also my Yogi teacher. She asked me to draw her Pre-Natal class, I said yes and gave it a go. I don’t usually draw real life people but I worked hard at it. It’s taken me a month or so to do but she loves it and that makes me happy. =)

Ever since I finished drawing my Elf Goddess Gaia I’ve been coming up with many ideas for future manga/comic/stories etc that surrounds her. I don’t have a strong foundation for a story I just visualise her beating the stuffing out of evil myriads. For that reason it will probably work better as a manga but in truth I’m still not sure.

I won’t think too hard about it. For now I’m just happy that I managed to draw a colourful picture of her but if a story comes out of it, that’ll be a marvellous bonus. =)

 

Thanks for reading,

Ryan.^^/

February Updates

Hello everyone, I just thought I’d give you all a quick update on my latest news.

 

For the past few weeks I have been experiencing an unfortunate cold which made me lose a lot of steam and energy with my drawings so I decided to take a small break to rest. Thankfully it seems the worst of my cold has disappeared, all I’m left with is an aggravating tickle in my throat. I should be fine as long as I don’t cough or talk, haha. Fortunately I’m well enough to resume my requests and anything drawing related. =)

 

It’s amazing to think I’ve received so many requests since the end of last year. When I first shared my art online I never imagined that anyone would view my art let alone ask me for a picture. Almost all of my art I’ve uploaded this year have been requests. In hindsight I probably accepted too many requests at once which resulted in a huge backlog and since Christmas I’ve been playing catch-up. Even now I’m still playing catch-up but I will continue to keep doing my best until they’re all finished.

 

Outside my art life I’ve been up to various things, mostly watching films and the football with my family. I’m also watching two new anime from this season, KonoSuba season two and Miss Kobayashi’s Dragon Maid. KonoSuba’s second season is as funny as I expected it to be but I’m enjoying Miss Kobayashi’s Dragon Maid far more than I thought I would. They’re the perfect anime to cheer me up during my time with a cold and they couldn’t have aired at a better time, even their opening and ending songs lifts the mood.  =)

 

Thank you for reading, =)

Ryan.^^/

Christmas Project

Coca-cola-lorry

Hello everyone, I hope you’re all enjoying this festive season. I know I am.

Recently I’ve been putting a lot of my work in progress aside to focus on my very own “Christmas Project.” I’m going to upload 12 pictures per day and use them as a “countdown” to Christmas starting on 13th December. I’ve been planning this for some time and I’m excited that my idea is finally coming to fruition. =D

I planned it so that I would work on two landscape pictures alongside the Christmas Project but I unexpectedly received a lot of requests between November and now. I’m very flattered and happy as I never foresaw that people would enjoy my work let alone ask me for requests. I’m working hard to get the pictures right and currently they’re all in rough stages and ready to be inked and coloured. I’m much busier than anticipated in December but it’s a nice headache to have. =)

Unfortunately I am behind schedule with this project so I’ve been making up for lost time the best I can and as a result I had to put my requests on hold. Christmas, family and baby-sitting duties comes first, especially at this time of year.

This is quite possibly the busiest holiday I’ve ever had and I have often received a lot of blank headaches and being unwell. It’s nothing to be concerned about because I recognise my own limitations and only going beyond the limits when I need to but I also stop and rest when I need to.

The official countdown will start tomorrow. I hope you enjoy viewing these pictures as much as I enjoyed drawing them. =)

Have a nice Christmas everyone. =)

Ryan.^^/

Life and Decisions

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I made a big decision today over a matter that I’ve been debating for years regarding writing an auto-biography about my life with Autism. Basically, I decided against it.

Since school I always envisioned myself writing an auto-biography as I felt it was my duty to rather than wanting to. Every time I dug down to my memory roots I would always end up feeling sad and feeding myself negativity. Nowadays I’m blessed with the fact that I can move on from the past but I had big problems when I was little, especially when trying to communicate with others. It was painful and frustrating not being able to talk to the point where it felt like they happened yesterday. I can still remember the pain I was in and how sad I was.

One day, today, I thought to myself if this was really worth it. Is it worth digging into my past and re-living those painful memories for the sake of sharing my story and possibly making some money through book sales? I came to the decision that it’s not worth it. I don’t want to think about those times let alone talk about them so why should I torture myself? I have a lot of wonderful stuff going on in my life right now and no matter how I look at it, living in the present, today, is far superior than re-calling the memories of the past. =)

With that, let’s talk about how good today is. =D

*

My life is wonderful at the minute. I’m editing my book after a few family discussions and I’m in the process of creating a huge database for my fantasy book so I can keep on top of my own information. =D

I’m really happy and touched by the amount of support I’m receiving throughout social media and art sites. =D I’m just happy if one person looks at my art but some of my art are getting more than 1 view. Some get over 10, some over 100 and remarkably some over 1000. Before I joined Deviantart I never would have predicted that I would receive so much activity with my art. Joining Deviantart is definitely one of my best life decisions to date.

I’m in the midst of tackling some fanart requests as I feel I’m ready to give it a go. So far I’ve completed 1 request out of 5 and at this moment I’m coping with the pressure rather well. I was asked to update my Yoko Littner picture by adding more colours and correcting the length of her right glove.

The final good news is that I recently reached the landmark of 30 completed pictures from my Manga Girls series. I find this exciting as this simple style of black and white with only the hair and eyes coloured allows me the freedom and time to complete pictures quicker. If I include backgrounds I focus too hard and take too long but if it’s just the lady, I can go all out as drawing girls seems to be my forte.

I amended and employed plenty of styles along the way and I actually think I get better every time I touch the tablet with my pen.

 

Thank you for reading, have a great weekend everyone. =D

Ryan.^^/