Thomas the Tank Engine TV Anniversary

Thomas and Gordon 1

Peep, Peep Tidings!

 

Today we are all celebrating. On this very day, 30 years ago, Thomas the Tank Engine first aired on television, produced by the good company of Britt Allcroft. =D

 

HOW THOMAS HELPED ME

Thomas is very precious to me, as he is too many others. One of my earliest childhood memories was Thomas. It was a basic play-set with Thomas and his two coaches, The Fat Controller, Percy, Bertie and a couple of troublesome trucks.

 

I’ve been blogging for almost a year now and I have made many links between my Autism and Thomas. I can’t express enough how instrumental Thomas was in my younger years. He helped me in many ways unimaginable. I was trapped in my own bubble and I never interacted with anyone or uttered a single word. Being young was difficult. The only time I would utter a sound is when the music started to play and I would scream very loudly. I would relieve this horrible tension in my head by banging it against the wall. Haha.

 

Some people started to talk to me through Thomas and made references through Thomas, to gain my attention. I can’t explain why I liked Thomas; I guess I felt that he was real. In cartoons you know it’s animated, but, I knew deep down that Thomas was a model. So, it felt like, I could just go down to the studio and see his model up close. I would be able to touch him. From my point of view, Thomas was an actor but playing the role of himself. Haha.

 

Till this day I still watch the first series of Thomas the Tank Engine, it was only yesterday when I actually watched Thomas Comes to Breakfast.

 

Through the world of Thomas, I started to open up my bubble and, even though it took time, started to open many paths that I would never have thought were possible. I started to share my toys with my brother, since we shared a common interest in Thomas. When I first listened to the songs of Thomas, like the Island Song, I started to listen to other songs. I disliked music at that time, but, I found that music wasn’t so bad because Thomas had music too. I also started to read, because Thomas had books. I like all different versions of Thomas and I especially like the Railway Series by the Rev. W. Awdry

 

Most importantly, it helped me to relax. When I was anxious I was unable to find a cure, so I was in a constant upset state. But, as soon as I learnt the existence of Thomas, I found a source of happiness. It cheered me up every time I was upset or anxious. There have been other attributes to what made me gradually come out of my shell.  However, this blog is dedicated to Thomas so everything else at this moment is irrelevant. =)

 

NOWADAYS

Thomas has now entered into the CGI stage… I can’t really say that I’m happy about this. I’m not questioning its change; it’s just that I prefer the model stage since it is what I’ve grown up with. I still collect the annuals, dvds and blu-rays. =) I started to narrate the classic Thomas stories and send those clips to my Uncle, who enjoys my narration a lot. I’m hoping to sometime in the future to send some of my recordings to hospitals etc as it helped me so much I know it could help lots of other children. =) I also started writing my own short stories about Thomas and his friends, and I’m having a lot of fun with that.

 

Nowadays I can go out and socialise more confidently then I could when I was younger. I went to College, went to University and got a 2:1 degree in performing arts, which I’m very proud of. =) I can even tolerate loud noise and music for a short period of time. Having Autism is not easy, but, I feel that the gateway of me coming out of my bubble is the result of Thomas being on TV. If it weren’t for Thomas who knows how my life would have turned out.

 

I’m not the sentimental kind but I would to take this opportunity to thank Britt Company and everyone involved for bringing Thomas to our screens. It helped me immensely as I’m sure it helped everyone else. Not just thanks for helping, but, for bringing happiness into our lives. I for one am truly grateful. =)

 

THANKS FOR READING

Thomas and Gordon 2

It’s weird to think that Thomas has been airing for 30 years. It’s always been a dream of mine to get involved with the creative side of Thomas. Mainly writing and narrating. My main dream now is to be an author, but that’s another story! 😉

 

Thanks for reading.^^/

Ryan

My Yoga Journey Continues

Meditation-Yoga-pose

Good Tidings.^^/

 

Four weeks ago I attended a yoga class in a different gym faculty. It was good experience but it wasn’t the sort of yoga class that I was seeking. The instructor was motivated, but perhaps a little too motivated. At times she was like “alright maggots, get on the floor and give me 20!” …just kidding. She said 50. 😉 If you like to check out my full thoughts on this yoga class, check out the link below. =)

 

(Visiting a New Yoga Place)

 

I tried another yoga class on that very Saturday morning, many Saturdays ago… Admitedly, as you may guess, I was sceptical. Once again I wasn’t familiar with the class or with the yogi instructor. I wasn’t sure what to expect. I can say with 100% conviction that I really enjoyed it.

 

It was a bit of a challenge to get up extra early but it was actually quite worth it. I do enjoy getting up early, I must admit, but you see, waking up early tends to mean going to bed early and an early tuck down is not my thing. Haha.

 

As of yesterday I’ve been attending this specific class for the past three weeks. I find the class to calm and relaxing.  Part of that, I think, is because of the time of day, and partly because of the yogi instructor. I really like her. She is very chilled, chirpy, cute and spiritual.

 

I’ve actually learnt some new positions during my short time in these lessons. There are some things that my body will allow me to do, and some things that my body won’t allow me to do. When I was sitting down we were all asked to tangle ourselves up and to replicate it on right and left sides. I could tangle myself on my right side, but I couldn’t on my left side.

 

The instructor tried to assist and encourage me to tangle myself further, but I physically couldn’t do it. I was like “nope, nooot gonna happen.” XD I like it how she adjusts everyone’s position and posture, especially mine. Sometimes when you focus on one area, some others areas often go to sleep. I became aware of muscles I never knew I had. I especially like it how clear and precise her explanations are, and I feel like I know how to position myself better. I still need to see the instructor’s example visually as I can never seem to remember the name of the moves. She spoke to me and my sister too, right before class started. I don’t usually say much when I’m in these classes but I always appreciate it when a yogi speaks to me.^^/

 

So far I do feel achy every Saturday morning, especially the next day. I think I can’t do the moves as much as my muscles haven’t had time to warm up. It doesn’t really matter though as I still enjoy these lessons. I come away feeling achy and probably need a nice cool drink, but, I always feel positive and awake. It’s like I’m ready for anything, ready to cheer on my favourite football team and all my players from my Fantasy team. Hoho. I also find that I’m breathing more clearly, like, I’m breathing correctly. I forgot what it’s called but basically we inhale and exhale deeply, like we’re snoring, if you will.

 

THANKS FOR READING

I sense that I’m going to become a regularly here, alongside my sister. It’s a very calm atmosphere with a calm instructor. So far, I’m enjoying every single second of it. May this continue. =)

 

Thanks for reading!

 

Namaste.^^/

Ryan

Visiting a new Yoga place

Meditation-Yoga-pose

Good Tidings.^^/

Last Tuesday I took the opportunity to attend a local yoga class with my sister. It was a new place and we were going to attend at a different time to what we would normally. I’ve never been to this venue before. Well, I’m not counting my brother-in-law’s dad’s 50th birthday since that wasn’t sport related. Haha.

Hmm, it feels like my arm’s been stung by a fly for some reason… anyway, back on topic!

We went upstairs, as per guided by the lady from the front desk, and immediately we were lost! We spent a good duration trying to find the right class. Eventually, we followed the trail of people with yoga mats, and that was how we found our class. 😉

At first there were four other people… then at five minutes to six (that was when the class started) literally twenty of thirty people turned up! I got somewhat anxious as I anticipated that I was going to get squashed, as I did sometimes in my previous yoga classes due to the narrow space…

  1. My Personal Pros

My personal highlight was the size of the room. It was humongous. In my previous yoga classes I get a little bit overwhelmed due to the amount of people in that tiny studio space. But, in this room, it’s like ten times bigger. So, even if there were thirty people in the room, because the room was spacious I felt instantly relaxed.

The yoga instructor was very motivated and I felt engaged every time she spoke. I was never distracted by anything else as I was constantly on the move.

I can tell she is a friendly person. She was a bit abrupt intermittently with her explanations but I put that down to her motivated personality. She has the type of personality akin to a fitness instructor, someone like Jillian Michaels, for example. =)

  1. My Personal Cons

I do dislike pointing out the vices of a situation, but, it had to be done. Haha.

Ahem-

Whilst I appreciate the instructor being motivated and enthusiastic, I felt that she was a bit too motivated for me. The way she instructed our class was more like army drilling then yoga. When we poised in certain positions the instructor would then yell at us and tell us to us not to get lazy.

It’s no question that I reaped the benefits of this yoga session physically, but I didn’t reap the benefits of this yoga session, spiritually. Had I attended this session five years ago then I would have enjoyed it. However, within the past year, I have come to understand and appreciate the deeper meaning of yoga. Because of this my outlook on yoga has changed a bundle.

My next point isn’t meant to be a criticism, but an observation. I got the distinct impression that she was more of a gym teacher then a yogi teacher. For those who study under yoga will understand what I mean. From my experience there is a difference between a gym teacher teaching yoga and a yogi teaching yoga.

From a gym teacher’s perspective I deduce that they tend to see yoga as another form of workout, like aerobics if you will. However, from a yogi’s perspective, they will teach you movements, explain why we take on certain positions, and appreciate our practice. When we go to a yogi’s class it’s all about being happy and being positive, and yoga positions exist in order to bring out the happiness within you. And, every time I leave a yoga class, I feel extremely happy and appreciate life for what it is.

Right at the end of this session, I noticed, the instructor actually said that she taught aerobics years ago at this very gym. So, I interpret this as her saying that she isn’t a yogi, but employed to teach yoga.

I noticed that this was a completely different vibe yoga session straightaway when I noticed that the Buddha’s statue was absent. Once more, there were no music and the lights never dimmed. Another key factor, even though there were new people attending this class (me and my sister included) she never came to speak with any of the new attendees. My past yoga instructor spoke to me and my sister when we first attended and I felt great. She did this every time someone new joined the class, but it wasn’t just her, it was other yogi teachers too.^^/

Really during my past yoga lessons I got used to this and treated this as the norm. So, when I attended this yoga session it all felt very wrong and out of the loop. Haha.

  1. My Personal Conclusion

I wouldn’t say that it was a bad class because some people will probably appreciate yoga as a workout. Some people have their own interpretation of what a workout it, and for some, yoga is all about being ‘bendy’. That suits a lot of people and that is just fine.

In this session, I reaped the benefits of yoga physically but I didn’t reap the benefits of this lesson spiritually, which is the primarily reason why I practice yoga. Usually I would come away feeling calm, relaxed and tired; however, at the end of this I felt exhausted and out of breath. I feel that if I wanted to do a full on workout, then, I would have attended a spinning class or aerobics.

I may give this lesson another chance but chances are quite slime as I don’t have motivation (haha, motivation) to go back.

  1. Irrelevant Ramble

Lately, I’ve been narrating Thomas the Tank Engine books and I’m really enjoying them. My favourite narrator will always be Ringo Starr but I’m really enjoying my own take on telling Thomas in my way. Not the Great Western Way nor the Frank Sinatra way, but, the Ryan way! Haha. =D

I’m heavily considering on becoming a story teller for children, but, I will have to see how this goes and how I feel. =)

THANKS FOR READING

I will attend a yoga class at a different place this coming Saturday morning, starting at 10, alongside my sister. I like to use my Saturday mornings to relax, but, for all I know, this session might help me to relax more. It’ll benefit me if I keep my options open. =)

Thanks for reading!

Namaste.^^/

Ryan

Self-Confidence

keep-calm-and-think-happy-thoughts-9

Good Day.^^/

 

In my blogs I often compare my present-self with my past-self. How I handle things in the past is a lot different to how I handle things now. My confidence back then was a lot different to what it is now. The key word is “self-confidence”. This doesn’t necessarily apply to people with Autism but it certainly has played a big role in my life.

 

I’m writing this specific blog because a recent incident has triggered a realisation in me- I have good strong self-confidence. Have I always been this self-confident? Have I always liked how I looked? Am I ashamed to admit that this is my identity in appearance and personality? What do others think of me? Should I adjust myself to please them?

 

Many questions ran amok in my mind…

 

  1. Past

My school has obviously played a significant role in my life, especially in my younger days. I was always afraid of doing something “wrong” so I would aim to please without being a burden. This meant that I always tried to be a “gentleman” to be the “cleverest”, know everything, always try my best.

 

Because I went to an SEN school it was important that we were all taught how to be polite and pronounce words correctly. You will find that a lot of Autistic people speak correctly but with a slight monotone. That is because we learn how to be polite and speak correctly rather than learn how to express ourselves. I was one of those people. When I spoke in my school days, I spoke with a placid monotone. I spoke politely with an edge of nervousness.

 

I learnt how to be polite and a gentleman, but I never really knew who I was. When I tried to express myself through my personality I would get chastised for being “silly” or “rude”. So, when I tried to express myself I often got shot down.

 

I was often misunderstood because I didn’t know how to express myself. My teachers and adult figures never gave me a chance to explain myself and what I meant; instead, they assumed that as I had said it, I must have meant it. So, more often than not, I would accept my punishment instead of being given the chance to speak. Those times were extremely painful, and it certainly made me self-conscious about myself. If this was what  life was like in an SEN school then how was I going to cope if I ventured into the bigger world?

 

Going to Bobby Charlton’s School of Excellence (a football academy which was founded by ex-Manchester United football player, Bobby Charlton) didn’t help my confidence either. I was the only student that represented an SEN school. Even though SEN schools were supposedly involved the majority of the staff, at that time (2000) showed no inclination that they understood a person with Special Needs. The other children there certainly showed a lack of understanding. I got called weird underneath their breath and they often whispered things loudly so I could hear them… I probably should have walked away at that point, since I was most upset, but I was determined not to let them get the better of me…

 

I felt like a monster from that experience and it was from that point that I started to hide the fact that I was Autistic. I figured that I was treated horribly because I have Autism. I didn’t deserve to hang out with cool people. I didn’t deserve to get equal treatment and attend Mainstream courses at college. I hid my “problems” from everyone else, and I hid my “problems” from even myself. I didn’t want to accept that I was Autistic. If anyone knew that I had “special needs” then they would instantly dislike me…

 

Despite everything that had happened I could never get away from the fact that I was Autistic. That thought alone made me insecure. So, in order to not do anything “quirky” and to hide my “autistic quirks” I kept quiet and spoke politely whenever it was necessary. Don’t rock the boat. Try to remain the status quo. If I don’t say anything incriminating then I won’t get judged or get called a monster…

 

Then one day I started to attend University and that was when my life changed…. For the first time I was actually happy. I could express myself and say my views without fear of being thought bad of. I had friends, they liked me and they did not care at all about me being “autistic”. All this confidence gradually led me to performing my Auto-biography performance of my life with Autism… it was definitely one of my most memorable moments in life. I felt peace and happiness.

 

  1. Present

Right now, I like who I am. I accept who I am. I embrace the fact that I am autistic. I’m not part of Autism, Autism is part of me. Life is good. =)

I now have an identity that I call my own. I have the looks that I like, I have personality that I feel comfortable with and I have wonderful hobbies. I also have goals that I strive towards…

 

  1. The Recent Incident

There was a knock at the door. I was dubious to open it. We thought it was just a friend so I opened the door to see what the gent wanted… At the time I wore white shorts and I was topless.

 

Anyway, this man came up to me, looked me up and down and said;

 

“Hi. First of all, you need to shave that chest!”

 

 

I think it’s safe to say that I was quite miffed at that point. The sheer cheek of the man had me taken aback, and annoyed to. If this happened something like five years ago then I would have been terribly upset and insecure. In that moment though, I was more miffed that he had the cheek to say that to my face.

 

Even if he was joking it was still insensitive and gratuitous. You just don’t do it. It’s like me going up a gentleman, who is well endowed around the waist line and say “you need to lose weight!” or me going up to a lady “you need to pop that spot!” You may think it, but you just don’t say it, even as a joke. I get the impression that people like this gentleman can’t comprehend that saying that can do a lot of damage and cause unrest in an individual.

 

This issue does not apply to just people with Autism, it can be a problem for many people. It can especially be a problem for Autistic people since some of them will lack a lot of confidence in social situations.

 

How did I act? I did it by not rising to it. I just grinned. My attitude was “hahaha… not gonna happen. I’m proud of my afro chest and Tom Selleck agrees.” =)

 

  1. Irrelevant Ramble

I participated in the Ice Bucket Challenge. That was a lot of fun. =D

I did the challenge on a very cold and windy day. My Dad poured the ice on top of me and I kept my eyes open with a huge smile on my face… from my point of view it was like a beautiful yet cold waterfall streaming down right before my eyes. I always wanted to go underneath a water fall and so far that’s the closest I’v ever come to experiencing one. =)

 

 

THANKS FOR READING

 

I really have come a long way in many ways in my life, especially when it comes to my self-confidence. I have learned that I can handle people’s quips a lot better and whilst I may still be sensitive, I’m not as sensitive as I used to be. I can rub off people’s cheeky quips whilst not feeling ashamed about who I am and how I present myself…

 

Thank you for reading. =)

 

Namaste.^^/

Ryan

Inbetweeners 2 Film Review

 

Inbetweners 2 Movie

 

  1. BEFORE FILM

 

The day after I went and watched Transformers: Age of Extinction I went to watch the Inbetweeners 2 movie… it was quite random really. My Dad fancied it and I thought ‘why not?’ I wanted to see it at an earlier time since I wanted the rest of the evening to myself. However, I thought rationally at that point. There were plenty of opportunities to do what I want after the film and throughout the next day. =)

 

Dad is not really a film goer so he wasn’t familiar with how the whole cinema works. Therefore, I took the lead and initiative when it came to getting snacks, buying tickets and what have you. It was an odd role to take the initiative but I did ok. I had the time to small talk with a cute freckled girl. I got myself a Tango Ice Blast with a mixture of raspberry and cherry…delicious. It was very sticky though! We both sat right at the back, upon my recommendation, since we would have the best view in the house.

 

Two certain young ladies were very vocal and disruptive as the film started. They were going to sit on the far back row, but, they randomly moved to the centre. I saw a quartet group that were going to sit in the centre but they couldn’t since the two young ladies nabbed their seats. They went down a row without much fuss. They started to become more vocal since they were getting more attention. They laughed and started to shout at that point. Everyone turned to look at them. Someone ‘ssh’ them and one of them said ‘shut up’.

 

It was rather frustrating, I must admit. How can we enjoy the film if they kept on talking? I started to think though that if everyone else was getting annoyed with them then I wasn’t the only one. I wanted to tell them to be quiet, but I noticed, that the more attention they received, the more hyper they became. In other words, they were fishing for attention. So, I just ignored them in the end. Why feed a young person negative attention? I just thought- I was here to watch a movie, not to engage in negative attention with young people… I think I did the right thing since eventually they went quiet. =)

 

 

  1. FILM OVERVIEW

Warning: I May Give Spoilers Away

 

2.1.       Overview

Admittedly I’m not a huge follower of Inbetweeners since it’s not really my thing and I am not crude in any stretch of the imagination. But you can understand why the franchise has such a huge following. Some of the stunts and slapstick nature should not really happen, yet, the way it’s done, you could actually envisage it happening in real life!  

 

 

2.2.       All About Jay

I gathered that we got a little bit of a time-skip since the previous film. Will and Simon are at Uni, Jay went to Australia and Neil didn’t do anything. Watching Jay’s ‘imaginative’ life in Australia was cool to watch. When he mentioned Neil’s sister I was actually expecting to see Kacey Barnfield, who played Neil’s sister. I think she’s really cool and cute and was disappointed that she wasn’t part of it.

 

Jay was really cool in this film. It was really cool that he would go all the way out to Australia in order to try and win Jane back. I had my suspicions that he still had a connection with Jane since he kept on dissing her whilst he was giving his personal account on Australia. XD Turns out that he did go out to Australia in order to seek Jane. All a sad situation- I was really happy that Jane came to Jay’s and his friend’s aid.

 

I suppose Jay was the underlining important character in this film. If he wasn’t in Australia to begin with then the others wouldn’t have gone to Australia, and he wouldn’t have found Jane. I was gutted though when she turned him down after his proposal… Jay is a keeper and he will treat his girlfriends right. He might be crude when it comes to innuendoes but he’s actually pretty cool when he’s in a committed relationship.

 

It all ended well. At the end it became a boy’s holiday again. They all went out together, doing daft stuff and just enjoying themselves. No girls allowed so to speak. 😉

 

 

2.3.       All About Simon

At this moment in time I prefer the first film rather than this one. The first film felt like a proper holiday whereas this was like a tour of a country. XD

 

In this film Simon’s girlfriend is psycho/paranoid … I’m quite gutted about this. In the previous film I saw no signs of her being one of those paranoid girlfriends. For her to suddenly be psycho seemed a bit random. Then again perhaps she’s only like this when she’s in relationships. I’m still gutted never the less because she seemed a lot nicer than Carli. Carli would use Simon to get her own back on this fella that she likes whereas Simon’s girlfriend wouldn’t… Maybe it’ll turn out that Carli and Simon were destined for each other and they’ll get back together? I sincerely hope that this wouldn’t be the case. XD

 

Neil, Will and Jay are all definitely good friends. They may like the ladies but they care enough about Simon to advise him to leave her for good. Personality before looks! I suppose that it’s a blessing for Simon that they broke up in the end as he was happy… all because she ended up sleeping with his ‘best friend.’ Still, all’s well that ends well… I think? XD

 

 

2.4.       All About Neil

Since it’s the Inbetweeners I was expecting crude toilet humour… we got that alright, numerous times!

 

Inbetweeners really does rely on its crudeness. From the get go you have some dog licking Neil’s private area when he was playing snooker… it was seriously disgusting to watch. XD Hilarious that he dressed as Hermoine from Harry Potter. When we saw these cloaked people at the beginning you knew that something cringing was going to happen. Neil is the epitome of crudeness; especially with his IBS… it’s vile but utterly hilarious.

 

Oh… that moment when Neil urinated on Simon’s face… that was simply surreal and disgusting. I kept on hiding my face behind my hands many times. It was just cringing to watch whether it’s Will trying to act cool or Neil’s IBS playing up… What was just as sickening was when he pooed and the poo was following Will’s trail as he slid down that water slide…

 

I was worried when Neil was going in the water with the dolphins… my worries were right on the money. He fed the dolphin snacks, burgers and sandwiches which were of course inappropriate. Then, the dolphin died. It was really sad but it was utterly hilarious at the same time… I’m even laughing now as I’m typing this.

 

 

2.5.       All About Will

You have the classic Will trying to fit in and be popular but he ends up looking like a fool. How does he get involved with people that are uncool? If I was in that position then I would just stay away from those kinds of people. He reminds me lot of an old acquaintance many years ago. That person tried to fit in by saying things and doing things that other people would deem ‘cool’ in order to fit in. It’s always better to be yourself… even if you are crazy. 😉

 

Will makes me cringe when he tries to impress, still hilarious to watch mind. Whilst he tries to impress he’s sort of a bit pompous at the same time. So, whilst he is clever he says extra things unnecessarily to impress and to make himself feel better.

 

Then this girl who kept kissing him on the lips… Will chose her and her posse over his real friends. All because he fancied her and that he was misunderstanding and misinterpretation her kiss. Well, peck on the lips. I must admit, I would probably think deeply if a girl kissed me on the lips… then again it all depends who the girl is and what she’s like as a person.

 

Then came that moment when… he played the guitar. My word, talk about hormones being out of control. XD She was wasted it looked as though they were going to get it on. Will obviously wanted to do it but he was a little conscious of the environment, obviously preferring a more ‘private’ atmosphere. It didn’t help that there was this lad, on the next bed, pleasuring himself as he watched on… I don’t think I’ve shaken my head so many times at one film. XD

 

 

2.6.       Mr. Gilbert

It was a mystery as to who the mystery man was in Will’s Mum’s life… turns out that it was the teacher! It’s great to see him again, he is such a good character and it was completely unexpected. I didn’t think we would see him again. Then again, I didn’t think there was going to be any more Inbetweeners… I’m not sure if I like him with Will’s Mum though. It’s funny but it doesn’t feel right, somehow.

 

 

2.7.       Personal Highlight

It was when Neil saw a mirage and started to run towards it and the rest of the gang just stood there and watched on, not moving. The duration of it and them not moving I would say was what made it funnier. He showed a lot of energy to run in that fashion. Haha.

 

 

  1. CONCLUSION

I thought it was a fairly decent film. All of the characters had a dilemma of their own and they were interesting to watch. Jay had a good part in this film. He made a mistake and tried to make amends by moving to Australia… whilst living in a tent. I’m disappointed that Simon’s girlfriend turned out to be a psycho and that Jane and Simon are not together.

 

Inbetweeners relies heavily on its toilet humour and slapstick and in that regard, it delivered. It’s basically from a young man’s point of view so I suppose that’s why it’s sort of realistic but not. Perhaps this is the sort of thing that young guys would do and think whilst going through puberty and when handling situations. Especially if you’re not deemed ‘cool’ by those who are deemed ‘cool’. My Dad even said that this kind of toilet humour existed when he was at school. If it happened back then, then it will probably happen now, I.E., in Inbetweeners. You see a lot of people like Will and Neil in real life but no one has thought about it until the writers of Inbetweeners came along.

 

I thought the first Inbetweeners film would be the last, apparently not. Now, I can see a third film instalment in the works. It’s not my kind of thing but it was still worth watching at the cinema.

 

I give this film, one-thumbs up! (My Rating System)

Thumbs-Up

 

 

THANKS FOR READING

 

This was yet another valuable experience for me. Yesterday I went to watch Transformers: Age of Extinction with a friend, first time ever. And today I went on an impromptu visit to Inbetweeners 2 with Dad, who is not familiar with the cinema surroundings. I can argue and say that going to the cinema was a lot to ask of me as I felt tired and dizzy and very uncomfortable. But, once again I’m finding that I can endure a lot uncomfortable feelings inside me. So, I tried my best to get my mind off my Autistic quirks. =)

 

 

Thanks for reading.^^/

Ryan

Transformers: Age of Extinction Film Review

 Transformers Age of Extinction

Happy Bank Holiday everyone.^^/

This is my review on Transformers: Age of Extinction as well as everything else that led up to it. =)

  1. BEFORE FILM

I’m not a cinema goer in the conventional sense. I was asked by my friend (who also happens to be my hairdresser!)  if I  wanted to go and watch Captain America: Winter Soldier  at the cinema. At that time I had already seen it. The Transformers film was nearing its last showing, so to my surprise I suggested that we could go and watch it.  He accepted.

It was quite out of character on my part. If I go to the Cinema it would be jam-packed with other cinema watchers. Whenever I go to watch films I tend to go in the last week of their showing, like I have done with the newest Transformers film.

It did actually dawn on me before going out that I was going out with someone, outside my home, without the presence of a relative. I had or have social circles from my college and uni days but I was hanging out with someone who had no connection to college or uni and wasn’t family. I did get nervous because it was a new experience. It was like going into the unknown.

I tried to calm myself down and cool my mind by drawing, watching the Sabagebu anime and reading Thomas the Tank Engine books… I then discovered that I actually lost track of time. I started to dart around to find my newly ironed top, only to crash my knee into my desk… it’s no exaggeration when I say that it really, really hurt. XD I couldn’t walk properly, so I was thankful I was going to spend the rest of the night sitting down.

The traffic was quite bad by the time I reached the cinema so I was a little late. By this time I didn’t worry so much. I might be a little late but the film doesn’t actually start until all the adverts are shown on the screens. I got accustomed to this so I never worry as much about being late to see a film. I do want to get there on time though to buy tickets and what not.

When me and my friend got inside I got myself a ticket and that lovely combination of a large… what was it called? It was a mixture of mango and strawberry. That’s it! It was a Tango. =D …I think?

The ticket buying process was something new for me, as most times when I go to the cinema with family, one person will pay for all the tickets then everyone will reimburse that person afterwards (saves everybody queuing!).  My friend bought his ticket and I then asked him if I needed to buy a ticket, to which he replied ‘yes’.

I hope he didn’t think I was expecting him to pay for me – he obviously didn’t know my usual ‘buying tickets’ routine! =D

  1. FILM OVERVIEW

I found this film to be most engaging. The graphics were exquisite and the sound was clear. In fact, I could feel the vibrations on my seat whilst watching the film. The action was very good to. I enjoyed the fights the most that involved Optimus Prime. Bumblebee against Stinger was also a good rivalry. I sensed a battle of pride between the two. It was personal to Bumblebee and fortunately he got on top.

It was interesting how the whole Autobots/creatures like Lockdown existed since the Dinosaur and that Lockdown and crew were the cause of their extinction. Like the prequel, Dark of the Moon, the producers meddled with the timeline and added their own interpretation on to it. XD

The codeable is a really cool gadget. You can mould that in any way you want. Just imagine if something like that really existed. I could then build my own train fort in my garden. Hoho! Enough of my own fantasies, I’d better crack on with this review!

I must be honest when I say that whilst I really did enjoy the film I did get lost at times. There were moments where I didn’t think that the story and plot was necessarily clear.

I got the gist that after the introduction of the Dinosaur age that the story time-skipped a couple of years from the previous film.

It then introduced Cade Yeager… this is where I got confused. I actually thought Cade was an adult version of Sam Witwicky and that Sam was finally tied down with Rosie and that they have a daughter. I thought Rosie got tired of Sam so she bailed on him and his daughter lived with him. Then when Optimus Prime made an appearance and they interacted… that’s when I figured out that that person was not Sam. It took me a while, I know. XD

It begs the question- what happened to Sam and the lovely Rosie? I would have liked it if their absence was explained or at least know where they are now. I do think it’s understandable why the government would attack the Autobots as well as Megatron and his evil posse.

Stinger was based on Bumblebee… I actually think, or like to think, that Stinger was a lady car. It was like a glossy red with a bit of dark pink- ish. The head of Stinger looked feminine too. Of course they battled it out since it would be a battle of pride from Bumblebee’s point of view. I personally think it would have been better if Stinger was female and had a personality of her own. Then we could have seen a forbidden romance between her and Bumblebee. Bumblebee would want to kick her bum at first or Stinger wanted to beat him down but fell in love with him and switched sides. I wanted that to happen but alas it ended with her/him/it dying…

Optimus Prime is really cool and is my favourite character from the Transformers series. He has a very striking glow and a colourful presentation with a hypnotic voice from Peter Cullen. He is clearly the strongest out of all the Autobots but he does get beaten pretty easily in some of the films. In some ways I suppose this is good as it shows that all good fighters can have handicaps, even if they are someone like Optimus. I wonder if he was out of character at times, especially when he said “I’ll kill you!” I’m not the most qualified person to judge Optimus though since I just follow the films rather than the whole Transformers franchise. =)

My personal highlight of the film was the introduction of the Dinobots. I didn’t see it coming and it was great to see them form and fight initially with Optimus. It was even better when they became allies. =)

I want to make a big shout out to Brains. It’s great to see him back. =D That Megatron though… he never dies, does he? I actually think the producers enjoy keeping him alive. Haha.

I do have one constructive criticism, whilst turning a blind eye to the others… the length. I struggle watching films. If I were to watch them I would prefer watching them on Film four or Sky movies or on DVDs. I would have little breaks to walk around to stretch my legs and arms. I looked at the running time before I left and was a bit taken aback when I saw that the running time was 165 minutes… nearly three hours! It was a good film but I do think it was a bit much and it could have easily been condensed down to two. Still, I coped and survived with the duration of the film though. I just see it that it was another useful experience to my ever growing adventures.

  1. CONCLUSION

I thoroughly enjoy this. I enjoyed the graphics, the design of the Autobots and the introduction of the Dinobots. There were a couple of times where I did get lost during the film and it did give me a headache. I got confused about the characters and I didn’t always follow what was happening.

I give this film, One-Thumb’s up!

Thumbs-Up

(My Rating System)

THANKS FOR READING

This was a valuable experience for me. Going to the cinema with not only a friend, but without the accompany of a relative. My Autistic quirks came into play when I realised I was going to experience a somewhat new situation, but it was an experience that was worth fulfilling. It goes to show that I can handle my autism side, even if I have to endure my worries. XD

Thanks for reading.^^/

Ryan

My Yoga Journey

Meditation-Yoga-pose

Good Day.^^/

It was a sad occasion Wednesday evening. For the last year,  my sister and I have been going to a certain yoga class and we have both experienced many benefits from attending the classes. However, it was the last time that our Yoga instructor was going to teach at that specific venue. I figured I would take this opportunity to summarise my experience since attending yoga classes.

*

I had been practising Yoga before actually attending any classes. It is said that Yoga is very therapeutic. I’ve never really looked at yoga from that point of view as I saw it as another form of a work-out. Even on YouTube there’s plenty of Yoga stretches and they are far from therapeutic.

One day my sister fancied doing Yoga at this particular gym. She asked if I wanted to try yoga or perhaps Pilates. I was in two minds as to whether I wanted to go or not. It was a new place with a bunch of people that I’ve never seen before so it was venturing into the unknown. I don’t like new places or sudden changes or new environments and I didn’t know how I would handle going there. It’s difficult for me, and it’s in these situations when my Autistic quirks come to the surface. My Autism does bring out the worst of me at times. It’s nothing to be ashamed of as it’s part of who I am.

However, I decided to give it a go in the end. What was the worst that could happen? It was a good thing that my sister was there as I had support from a relative and a familiar face. Ahem- they say that yoga is relaxing. All I had ever received was the physical benefits rather than being rewarded with the emotional or mental benefits… until I went that night.

It was a fairly closed environment. The lights were dim, the candles were lit and the Buddha statue was present. The Yoga Instructor came up to me and spoke very kindly to me. She recognised that I was new so she came over to say hi. It’s no lie or exaggeration to say that I was apprehensive since it’s a new place. I really appreciate the instructor taking the time to speak to me, and my sister for that matter. I felt more accustomed and relaxed after that. We even spoke after the first practice… I felt more encouraged to attend. =)

It was that first night that I started to reap the benefits of having a relaxed mind whilst emitting positive vibes. I can never truly calm my mind though since my mind is extremely active. When I’m relaxed I tend to visualise the things that I like, in this case, I kept visualizing myself swimming with mermaids. XD It’s weird, I know, but that’s one of the t things that relaxes me. 😉

*

I have attended every Wednesday since my first night.

Through all those times I noticed a difference to when I had practiced yoga before and during the lessons. Before I attended, yoga was just a workout so I did all those exercises for physical endurance. However, when I attended yoga and I did all those exact same exercises, the feeling was different. I was happier and experienced a feeling of tranquillity… I posed in super hard positions but yet I felt very relaxed. Why was this? I deduce that it was the environment and my new found attitude to Yoga.

Years ago, if I had joined a gym, I would have seen yoga as a competition. In my school I was always under pressure to do my best and one wrong answer or tiny failure was never an option. If I got one question wrong I would get upset. The same applied to P.E. P.E. was my most disliked subject, because of the competition. Competition brought out of the worst in me and I would avoid it as much as I could, because I knew how I would feel and handle the situation. I knew how I would handle things, but controlling my emotions was no easy task.

Nowadays I realise that I have nothing to prove to anyone. Yoga was not a competition; it’s all about, to me, finding your own inner-peace. It’s about being positive and looking on the positive side of life. That’s not to say that we’re naïve and we ignore all the dangers and bad stuff in the world, but it’s about accepting vices and faults and not worrying what we can’t change. If you can’t change it, why worry?

Negative people tend to focus on the things they hate, whereas positive people focus on the things they love. I always think about happy things and I have a very good life. Being happy, as I learned from yoga, is another form of relaxation. I’m always going to worry about little things due to my Autistic quirks but it’s reassuring to know that I have battle plans in place where I can conquer the negative thoughts with my positive thoughts any time. =)

*

When it was time to visualise tranquil scenes I thought about my own tranquil scenes. When the yoga instructor told me to think about green I would always imagine myself laying on grass and breathing the leaves that fall from the trees. Like, as if I’m on a tropical island near mountains. XD For yellow I pictured the sun, and for blue I pictured water. So, I have my own unique interpretation, as daft as it sounds. Haha.

*

Me and my sister always situated ourselves near the bikes… how we ended up there, I don’t know! I think we probably kept in the corner because it was the only place available to dock. We just got used to it. It was uncomfortable sometimes as we kept on hitting the bikes but there was nowhere else I would rather have been! w Haha.

*

As a bonus I became flexible through my hips and legs whilst increasing my balancing skills. I can physically turn door knobs and open doors with my feet! If I have a cup of tea in one hand and a basket of clothes in the other then I would raise my foot, turn the door knob, and walk through the door. I can even pick stuff off my floor without bending down. So, I may be talking about the emotional benefits but I definitely have come a long way physically as well. Haha.

I’m thankful to yoga. Before I was making a physical connection but now I have a mental and emotional connection with yoga. However I feel that the Yoga Instructor helped me more. If it wasn’t for her being impeccably kind and understanding then I’m not sure if I would have enjoyed yoga as much.

*

I will definitely carry on my yoga practice with this same mind set  =)

Thanks for reading.

Namaste.^^/

Ryan

The Wedding (Part Two)

Wedding Bells Imgae

Part Two is here. =D

In Part One I explained emotions before and after the wedding. At times my Autism played mind games with me, but with correct remedies I overcame some issues. The ceremony was much more exciting and chilled then I thought and I carried off my wedding reading with my head held high. Now, to tell you the rest of the day…

 

  1. The Photographs

I was sort of in a pickle at this point. I didn’t really know who to converse with or hang out with. I suppose really I didn’t want to talk to anyone in particular, so, I just mulled around taking more random snaps of people and the general landscape. Every now and again I would elegantly dab my forehead with a tissue, battling the blazes of the hot sun. Haha.

I was extra hot since I had a waistcoat over my shirt. I kept my suit jacket on for as long as I could. Some of the folks often suggested that I should take off my jacket but I chose not to. I wanted to look the part for as long as I could. My attitude was ‘if I could survive 7 hours in a Lord Voldermort costume, then I could manage a good duration in a three layered get-up’. Someone said to me ‘are you mad?’ to which my reply was ‘yes.’ XD

I kept seeking shade many of a time. Trees were my best friend on that day.^^/

Then came the time when we all posed for Mr Photographer’s professional snaps. He took one where we all made the shape of a heart where the Bride and Groom kissed one another in the middle. Genius indeed! I really did like Mr Photographer. He was a very bubbly chap who was very creative in his craft. The sort of ideas he came up with for taking photographs are similar to my ideas and style. I liked him instantly. He gets two thumbs up from me. In fact, I actually took a few snaps of him taking snaps of other people…it was rather funny. XD

I thought it was actually cool that he knew my name. My fame is growing. Hoho. =D

It was time to pose for the immediate family photo. We were all chirpy at that point. Mr Photographer called me Superman for some reason, I didn’t know why but I took it rather humorously. The same when he joked and suggested that I would lie down in front of them. Usually I do take things to heart as sometimes I don’t always get jokes or sarcasm. My sister, the Bride, implied that I would have done, implying that I was some sort of drama-queen… my thespian days are behind me! 😉

All was ok until he told me to relax. I was confused because I thought I was relaxed. Then someone told me to breathe. Everything was said in good humour but I didn’t really understand why they were saying that. It clicked when I noticed that my body was somewhat tensed up. I was probably posing unnaturally. This made me feel really silly. Was I posing too much and being too unnatural in front of the cameras? I thought I was being natural in front of the camera? I felt a little embarrassed at these thoughts so I started to wander off. No one said anything incriminating, I just felt daft.

I got it in my head at that point that no matter what happened I was going to go home after the meal. I didn’t want to feel embarrassed or stick out like a sore thumb any longer…

 

 

I liked the orange juices; I got as many down my neck as existed. I also enjoyed taking some personal snaps of my Dad, who looked super dapper.

Many peeps there complimented me and my suit, all saying I looked dapper. Of course, everyone looked dapper and beautiful. I would have repaid the compliments but I was very much wrapped up in my own mind and worries to think about others at that moment in time.

 

  1. The Meal

I walked in and a cute waitress stood in front of me. I think her name was Kimberly but I called her Isabel since I decided that she looked more like an Isabel. So Isabel asked if I knew where my table was, and pointed to it with a smile and bow. I knew where my table was since I actually helped with the printing of the table plan, but, I still enjoyed her brief company regardless. 😉

All the speeches by the wedding party were fun and touching to listen to. I was somewhat apprehensive as a glass of wine was already placed in front of me, as with everyone else. I do not like any alcohol by any stretch of the imagination and usually I would want to pour it away the next chance I got. Once again though, I started to think outside the box… all the wines are poured into those fine glasses since this was a formal occasion. This wasn’t the ‘let’s annoy Ryan show’ but the ‘Newlyweds show’. So, naturally all wine glasses would be filled with wine. It also didn’t mean that I had to drink it. Only I can make that sort of choice. If I didn’t want to drink it, I shouldn’t have to drink it. In the end, after all the needless worrying, I didn’t. =)

When my Dad finished his Father of the Bride speech, we all toasted the Bride and Groom, including me. I didn’t realise but I actually picked up the wrong glass! I picked up the chunky water glass instead of the wine filled glass and toasted the Bride and Groom with an empty glass. I put the empty glass back down as casually as I could… only to find out later that my brother actually filmed me picking up the wrong glass! …I have been named and shamed, haha.

Then we started the eating and talking amongst ourselves. My Auntie taught me correct table etiquette, especially when it comes to eating food. I never had a starter in my life; I go straight for the meal. It was a unique experience. I was focused when it came to eating. I was too conscious not to spill any tomato soup down my suit.  It then came to my attention that the dinner was chicken with other unique substances… at that point I pictured one of those home cooked Sunday roasts… the one we had in that moment was much lighter than I expected. It was delicious. The dessert was truly exquisite. I had sticky toffee pudding, ice cream and a piece strawberry.

Then, my lovely lady Isabel (who really is Kimberley) came over a couple of times. =D We had a bit of a thing. She placed a cloth over my lap, the first to bring me food, water, and did it all with a smile. Then, when we locked eyes she came over and asked if I would like a coffee. I said no with a smile (what I would give to have teeth as white as Ross Gellar’s) and asked for tea. She apologised and said that she couldn’t help as she was a coffee girl. I almost suggested for her to stop her coffee girl duties and pull up a chair next to me! Alas, I respect her position as a coffee girl.

It’s the kind of forbidden romance that will never happen. Every time I see a coffee brand from now on it will always remind me of Isabel (really Kimberley)… OH WELL. It’s as the old saying goes; there are plenty of coffee girls in the sea, or in this case, coffee shops. XD!

I went out to freshen up for ten minutes or so, just to have a bit of a break away from the loud and joyous room of happy people. The Bride was alone, so, I took this opportunity to go over and say hi and say a few words with some of her posse. I could have spoken to her a few times earlier, and the Groom, but she was being surrounded by her posse so I decided to wait for the right moment to talk with her. I took my moment and approached her when she was alone.

I spoke pleasantly with what I call the dancing gang. They all seem to recognise who I was. One of them guessed that I was one of her brothers. I could tell straight away that one of them was a dancer by his mannerisms and energetic aura. 😉 They were all cool to talk to though. A few of them asked if I drank alcohol. Usually when that happens my sister would jump in and say that I don’t drink, being the supportive big sister. ^^/  Once upon a time if someone asked me if I drank alcohol, I would over react at the mere suggestion, nowadays however, I just say, no, I don’t drink, and leave it at that.

 

 

The cake cutting was due originally for 8 O’clock, but I found out the day before that it moved to half 8. My sister informed me that I didn’t have to be there for the cake cutting if I didn’t want to. Up until this point I got it in my head that I was definitely going home as soon as I scoffed down the meal…with grace and dignity of course. 😉

However, after the meal I think I probably came out of my shell little by little. In the morning I didn’t really fancy interacting with anyone. I think once I got the feel of the place and the type of people that were there, I started to familiarise myself with the whole situation. I exchanged pleasantries with Dale’s side of the family and some of Nat friend’s acquaintances/husbands. Something also happened that was rather significant to me- smiling at random people.

I’m no stranger to smiling per se, but usually if I lock eyes or share a glance with someone I usually look away rather quickly, standing out is not my thing. But on this day, I surprised myself. If someone looked at me and I caught them in the act (haha) I smiled, to which they smiled back. Then, to avoid any potential awkward freeze frame, I casually (I hope) turn away pretending to talk to someone else. The most unusual thing is, this didn’t happen just once, it happened at least five times. The confidence in me grew quite large. I always wanted to smile at some random person in the streets as not only will it make me feel better, but it might make them feel better. Yet, I managed to do it not once but numerous times. Good for me. =)

Whilst I started to come out of my bubble little by little I still feel that it was necessary to go home for a little while, in order to rest and freshen up. I went home at the correct moment. It helped me think and rationalise over a few pros and cons of the evening and how I was feeling. It was at that moment that I decided to come back for the cake-cutting ceremony. If anything bad happened or if I felt uncomfortable, I would just call upon the services of Dad and he would take me home.^^/

 

  1. The Evening Reception

After freshening up and having some peaceful time to myself I came back, literally in the nick of time of the evening reception. With quick thinking I was able to video the Bride and Groom cutting the cake.

I hung around my Brother and his partner for a short while before deciding that I was brave enough to take snaps and video people dancing and laughing the night away. I even got some beautiful shots of the Bride and Groom Posse posing with fake cigars against the sunlight. There was a very funny photo of the Groom Force lifting the bride into the air. You could see all the groom gang but you couldn’t see the Groom himself… it was a very funny moment. I felt a bit proud since they asked for me personally to take some photos. =D

 

Ahem-

 

Some of the people really rocked the dance floor, including a lady (related to the chief bridesmaid), who had additional needs. She had loads of energy and was not afraid to show it off. I liked it how everyone accepted her. They danced with her rather than around her. It was a lovely sight.

After taking some snaps I decided that the music was too loud and everyone was too busy having fun and being energetic, so, I ventured outside for some alone time. The Sun went to bed early and the moon came out to party! =D It was very cool and extremely peaceful. If I’m honest, I think I could have spent the rest of the night outside rather than inside. Especially on this certain stone bench that I was attached too.^^ I decided to go back in a couple of times though, I was on a roll when it came to mingling, so, I decided to be courageous and interact with more folks.

Being courageous does not mean being fearless, it means doing something daring. XD

I spoke to Ian about Footy, I bantered with my Bro, who decided to steal my suit jacket. XD I took it off just after the meal since it’s been a good amount of hours without taking it off.  XD I interacted with some of Nat’s former and present co-workers. They’re a fun bunch to talk to. One of them thought that me wearing my name tag was humorous. This was originally tied around the wine glass but I then tied it around the button of my waistcoat. “Now you know who you are!” They chimed. XD They made some mad banter jokes. I didn’t have the foggiest idea what they were on about but I imagine that it was something rude, judging by how Nat was laughing. XD!

The other waiters and waitresses were kind to me to. All thought it was humorous that I had my name attached across my suit jacket. I’ll tell you another miracle that happened… I drank three J2O’s from the Bar and I didn’t pay for any of them. Today was a lucky day to be Ryan. =D

Everyone became slightly rowdy and started to get more caught up in the excitement, so, I decided that once again it was time to visit the pleasant greenery outside.

I discovered that I rejuvenate myself every time I go outside. So, at certain intervals of interacting with various people I sought refuge in the pleasant and cool air outside. It’s a very beautiful garden, both during the day, dusk and in the evening. =)

At this point I decided to come home. I ventured back into the hotel, through the reception and I could see the Bride, calling me over, onto the dance floor with a bunch of people surrounding her. At that point I was like- “oh no dawg! You ain’t gettin’ me on the dance floor to boogy like Grace Kelly! Cause I’ve got Sky broadband SHIELD!” …just kidding, I don’t have sky. D=

It was my misunderstanding as the Bride wanted to say farewell. Exchanged hugs (I don’t do hugs, I get too tense) said bon vouyage (haha) and went home first. I said a quick goodbye to Paula, took a few snaps of the Bride with the Groom and the Bride’s Father a couple of times, then, time for home.

I got home at half past eleven at night; I had to do a double take to look at the time correctly.

Oh, by the way, I kept on receiving praise for my wedding reading from the Bride’s point of view. It was a lovely sentiment and to be honest I completely forgot that I did the wedding reading. I only remembered when people came up to me about it and when the Groom thanked me in his speech.

 

  1. The Aftermath

It’s taken me a couple of days to recover from the wedding. I’m still recovering now. I’m in a messed up sleeping pattern, haha.

For the past few days I dedicated my time to uploading the photos and videos in order to show the Bride and Groom when they are back from their honeymoon, in the United States of America. =D

All the guests and family alike were quite impressed with my photos. I’m glad they were, I’m pleased with how I applied my trade as well. =) I snapped some from very unique angles and vision.

I also decided to keep my name tag and my poem verse by Edward Monkton as special memories of the Wedding.^^/

 

  1. Conclusion

I out did myself when it came to interacting and mingling. I was slow to start but I found my feet as the day went on. I got it in my head throughout the day that I was going to go home after the meal, yet, I stayed until eleven O’clock at night. I mingled much more than I thought I could ever manage. All the guests from the Bride’s side and Groom’s side were simply endearing and approachable. The pair have very good taste in friends.^^/ It certainly made my day easier and I think it’s the positive atmosphere of the people that helped me stay longer then I anticipated. Granted, I still needed my own space from the noise and busy reception. =)

I had a significant role with the wedding reading. I should also point out that it was a lot different than performing. When I’ve had a role in a performance and I’ve stood in front of people, afterwards I would usually remember what I’ve said word for word because I continue to be in character. However, on this day, since the reading was more personal, I felt more relaxed and as I wasn’t in character, the pressure was off and I simply forgot that I had read it. XD!

It’s important to note that whilst I was able to stay the full day, it doesn’t necessarily mean that I will be able to do the same next time. My Autistic quirks always play a part in my life, big and small, and that’s something that I will never escape from. In a nutshell, I’m always battling with myself and my troubles.

These troubles will never go away but I choose to endure these troubles rather than escape. I never run away from a situation and I certainly wasn’t going to start with my one and only sister’s wedding.

Overall, the ceremony was wonderful and definitely one of the most memorable moments in my life. I anticipated many unnecessary scenarios and things were not as bad as I assumed. I did myself proud, very proud. Challenges were never meant to be overcome with ease, and that philosophy suits me to a tea. ^^/

I give the ceremony, Two Thumbs Up!

Two thumbs-up

Thanks for Reading

Me in my suit

 

Usually when I’ve been on an adventure I like to unload all of my thoughts and all the shenanigans that happened that day to my closest family. I decided to do that with the art of writing a blog. You can find a picture of me in the link above. That’s what I wore for my sister’s wedding. =)

 

Thank you for reading.

 

Namaste. ^^/

Ryan

The Wedding (Part One)

Wedding Bells Imgae

25th July marked a special day for my calendar. It was an occasion that was much more significant then Prince William and Kate’s wedding. The marriage took place between my sister, Nat and my newly crowned brother-in-law, Dale. That day was all about the bride and groom, but in this blog, I will make it about me. =)

I have a lot to convey so I have divided the blog into two parts.^^

 

1. The Build-Up

It’s been non stop since Dale popped the question last year and Nat saying “yes.” The pair of them (especially the bride) worked really hard to organise the whole event.

I had some responsibility and jobs to do. I assisted with the writing of the table plan and printing off the images… I’m pretty sure I had other responsibilities but it has slipped my mind as to what they were. I enjoyed helping whenever and however I could. I did get exhausted though. Sometimes I fell asleep halfway through the jobs. Luckily, I managed to get the jobs done with plenty of time to spare.

I was asked to do a reading for the ceremony too. It was a verse called In That Still and Settled Place by Edward Monkton. I was a bit uneasy at first as I’m aware that I get tongue tied quite easily, especially when talking to new people. I read it and I found it to be much simpler than I thought. In fact I subconsciously memorised it after reading it three times. I opted not to practice zealously as I felt that composure in that moment was more important. I could practice one hundred times but I might get tongue tied on the day due to nerves.

I was told that I could let myself loose and take pictures like a photographer-ninja. Haha. Once again I felt uneasy. What if I got yelled at because they didn’t want their photo taken? I often received reassurance that I wouldn’t get yelled at since taking photographs was common at weddings. My mind was clearer after that.

I was looking forward to the Wedding; my one and only sister was getting married.

 

2. The Anticipation

A week or so before, it actually dawned on me that the wedding was happening. All kinds of gratuitous thoughts entered my head. This is my Autistic quirks zone where I worry needlessly and anticipate unnecessarily.

Going to this wedding is going way, way out of my comfort zone. Everything would be formal. I would go to a place that I’ve never been before. I was going to read a reading in front of new people. Meeting familiar faces, old faces and new faces all in one setting. I don’t like my friend zones mixing with each other for some reason. I would be wearing a suit; I prefer trendy clothes then smart clothes. And, it’s going to be very, very hot. I’m not so keen on hot weather. They’d be a huge crowd, everything huddling together and stuff.

Admittedly, many of these thoughts made me think ‘I don’t want to go’. The cons really overshadowed the pros. It got me stress and my anxiety did grow. I felt even more anxious for feeling anxious at my own sister’s wedding. It’s quite daft now thinking about it. It didn’t help that I kept going to bed late and waking up early. So, sleep deprivation did play a part.

I then decided at the last minute that I was going to illustrate my very own card. It would have been much easier to buy one, but, it would feel more personal to create one. So, I did. I was fairly happy with the results of my work. It would have been much better had I put a little more effort into it and if I had more time. I knew they would appreciate my creativity regardless. So, all is good. I created a moon in the sky that reflected onto the water, then, I did white silhouettes of the girl coming out of the rose and the guy coming out of the lily. The top bit of the lily I put over the guy’s head so that it looked like a top hat… it looked nothing like a top hat, but hey, it was still fun to draw nonetheless! XD

Being sentimental and affectionate makes me quite uncomfortable and embarrassed. I tend to show affection through back handed compliments. I have this thing, since I was little when I disliked it when people go “AWW”. It really grates on me. I dislike it when that happens so I tend to hold back on the compliments in case I receive that reaction in any way. I don’t know why that’s a pet peeve of mine, perhaps I find it patronising? Perhaps I find it to embarrassing and cringing? Whatever the case, I know that I don’t like it.^^/

However, some things did get me through the cons. someone put it to me like, think about the wedding rather than your worries. So I did, and things became more chilled. I might have said that to myself but regardless I still went with that thought in mind. I listened to Thomas the Tank Engine’s theme tracks; I watched anime and listened to soundtrack of Non Non Biyori. I also looked at the wedding from the bride and groom’s point of view, rather than mine. Things tend to work if I just relax.

There might be scenarios and thoughts that will be the cause of your anxiety, but there will be plenty of remedies to wash away your anxiety. Fortunately, I have many battle plans in place. 😉

Then, came the day…

 

3. Before the Ceremony

My Dad took my Mum and Auntie to the venue first; then, he came back for me and took me, Bro and his partner to the wedding venue. I was extremely hot. We drove 40 minutes to the place and I wore trousers, waistcoat, shirt and shoes. I took a bag of goodies with me so I could freshen up whenever I needed to. I enjoyed chit-chatting to Bro and his partner; the little conversations sort of took my mind away from my uneasy thoughts.
I got a little nervous getting out of the car. It was blazing hot and to add to the heat factor, I then put my suit jacket on. It was hot in the car, but even hotter outside. I wanted to dive right back into my vehicle. I don’t handle heat particularly well, some of you may know, but I tried to think positively. I put it in my head that the Sun wanted a front row seat to view Nat and Dale’s wedding, so, he popped from behind the clouds and got himself comfortable. Haha…

I didn’t approach anyone; rather, they were approaching me. I posed for a photo or two with some of the crew but I got severely uncomfortable when being touched. It was only around the waist and arms but I do get uncomfortable and nauseous when I get into physical contact with someone. I’m ok if it’s brief, but I quickly tense up if it’s more than ten seconds.

To control my nerves I started to take snaps of random objects and people bustling about. I tried to take quick snaps since my sister informed me to take snaps of people acting natural. I probably took this to heart since I took a good load of people laughing amongst themselves. I tried to take pictures of couples posing but I found it more comfortable to take…what I would describe as sly snaps rather than posed snaps. Haha.

I caught up with a bunch of various people though, enjoyed chit-chatting to them. I caught my hairdresser before she left, nice seeing her. She did the hair of my sister, a cracking job she did too. I caught up with the groom and his groom force. I caught up with Paula, not seen her in ages. Caught up with Damien and Mr Paul. I caught up with… well, a bunch of people really. There’s too many to name but they know who they are. 😉

Taking photos relaxed me, so, I kept on snapping.

I actually promised myself that I was not going to take any artistic photographs at this wedding. I told myself to take normal and refined photo of everyone… as soon as I got snapping away; well… there was no turning back. =D I snapped the lens as much as Ken Shamrock snapped ankles. Haha. Only certain people will understand that reference. XD

I heard a cry from within the realms of the hotel- it was time for the ceremony.

 

4. During the war… ahem, Ceremony

We all bustled into this tiny room which luckily was full of open doors and windows. I was going to seek refuge in that room earlier, to escape the warmness of the sun, but opted not to. But the lady sort of guided us formally through the entrance of the building which led to the ceremony room. It would have saved time just to skip into that room, but, it was probably more appropriate to go into that room the round-a-bout way. XD

The room was much smaller than I anticipated. I went to my Auntie’s wedding 15 years ago where she got married in a fairly big building. The room was rather long and wide too. Yet, this room was just about as big as the two rooms in my house. I would have felt squashed and uncomfortable but luckily there were plenty of windows and doors open which led to outside. So, things were not as bad as I anticipated. Again. 😉

We all took our places. Since I had a role for the ceremony, saying that verse by Edward Monkton, it was necessary for me to sit at the end of one of the rows. I sat far right on the second row. The head lady talked me through what I needed to do. She was very pleasant. Looked slightly stern so I was concerned that she was going to be old school, but she was very pleasant and laid back to talk to. The registrar was down to earth as well.^^

 

 

The ceremony was bliss. Everyone got very emotional, especially the wedding party. =) The Bride and Groom have been together for what seemed like a lifetime so it was a wonderful sight to see them finally tying the knot. It was a formal environment but I felt it wasn’t as formal as I feared it was going to be. The lady was not as stern as I thought. Everything that happened I did not think it would happen. It was all a very strange phenomenon.

Chris then stood up and said his wedding reading on the Groom’s behalf. What he said was most touching, although, I did get a sense that he was severely nervous. He did a good job regardless. And then, the lady proclaimed, looking right at me, “we now have another reading, this time from Ryan.”

I stood up, hopped over Nat’s veil, and stood at an angle. I said the title of the verse but I slightly stumbled on Edward Monkton’s name. I was never concerned about reading the verse itself, I was more concerned about my trousers. I have the right sized trousers by all means but no matter what, I kept on visualising my trousers falling down during my reading. So, for my own peace of mind I bought a belt and wore it. For those who know me, I do not like belts. I find them most uncomfortable, especially when sitting down.

I like to think that I did justice to that little verse. It was very well received by the guests. I received a round of applause but most importantly Dale and Nat looked please.

I tried to read it as poetically as possible, adding my own expression and emotion. I tried to make it more personal. I looked it at it like these were what Nat wanted to say to Dale, so, in a sense I was reading it from Nat’s point of view. Because of how I interpret I wonder if it would have been more appropriate to have a female read it instead. But, really, I think Nat made the right choice picking me since we’re siblings and I’m confident when it comes to reading poems. =)

Nobody probably noticed this but when I was reading I was looking directly at Dale and Nat. Since I felt this was more personal and it was from Nat’s point of view to Dale I tried to direct everything I did towards Dale. I wasn’t ignoring the guests it’s just that I was directing and looking at Dale since it was a verse made to be listened by him.^^/

My brother and Dale’s brother were also the official witnesses for the Bride and Groom’s wedding. It was a nice touch that both my Brother and me were involved of the ceremony.^^/

 

 

As quick as that, the ceremony was over as soon as the groom kissed the Bride.

In this time I managed to snap some quite good photos. Everyone was quite impressed. I managed to get a cheeky one where the Bride and Groom walked past the window. It would have been great but Mr Spider photobombed it. D=

 

 

The ceremony was bliss and beautiful. So far, I was excited and happy. It was a good day to be Ryan.

 

 

That’s it for The Wedding (Part One), stay tuned for part two. 😉
Ryan

Visiting College

University Building

Sunny Tidings.^^/

 

I went to my college today to catch up with my old tutors. One of the tutors I caught up with is retiring, so, I took this opportunity to visit everyone before she left.^^/

 

Discussions about my visit have been happening for around a month or so. Initially I was hesitant to go. It has been a long time since I visited my old stomping ground and I don’t visit places often. So I was anxious about travelling and going to a place that I’m not so familiar with anymore. However, when I got there, I was surprisingly myself. It all became familiar once again…except, there have been many changes!

 

The gym has finally been built (it started when I left) and extra parts of the building have been attached, built in, and the reception has changed. I found out the more awkward way since I went to the old reception building instead of the new one… When I walked into the new building I was like ‘well… I’m lost.’ XD In the end, instead of waiting for my old tutor, I just asked the receptionist about him.

 

She was like ‘do you have an appointment with him?’ And I was like… no, but, we arranged to have a drink. Apparently, that could have been taken out of context. In hindsight, I can see why. I don’t know why I said that, I suppose I felt that the receptionist was being a bit too formal. Like the sort of receptionist that you would get in a doctor’s office. Haha. So, what came out of my mouth was all natural…but daft. XD

 

Long story short, we met up and we had a very good catch up indeed. It was rather fun and to be honest, it seemed rather too short. I completely forgot that I was anxious. I was definitely myself because I forgot to pay for my cup of tea… a very bad habit when I was a student. XD But, in my defence (if I have a case) the tea was on one side of the café, whilst the cashier was on the other. So, I just naturally walk off like I was getting a drink in my own house. Haha.

 

In some ways, the college was like my second home, just some new residents.

 

So, with this afternoon’s visit, I definitely feel comfortable enough to go back and visit again. Somehow my Autism tendencies overshadow my Ryan tendencies. By this I mean that sometimes my mind play tricks with me and I worry about something that isn’t there. I’m laid back and down to earth but when my Autism tendencies play tricks with me I do need an outsider to say ‘chill out bra, it’s not as bad as you think.’ And so far, things have never been as bad as I have anticipated.

 

It’s all good.

 

In the upcoming days I will upload a blog about my birthday (which is tomorrow) and I will share with you my thoughts on the Anime Spring season. =)

 

Sayonara.^^/

Ryan.