Attachments, Cleansing and Achievement

Elsa

Yesterday I achieved something special.

Ever since I was little I had this thing where I held attachments and had great difficulty letting go. Whether that’s letting go of past memories or physical objects it’s always been a problem. I think Autism does play a part in this but ultimately I became accustomed with this personality trait. All of this was an issue because I attached myself onto these things and I felt these memories or physical objects defined who I was when I was still finding my feet growing up.

Yesterday I decided to sort out my entire room before Christmas and I actually managed to throw out a lot of things that I haven’t used or seen for 10 years. I even gave some books and clothes to the charity shops as they were wasted in my wardrobe. I felt emotional as getting rid of things was not easy but I managed to tame my emotional attachment side and was resolute in my goal and decision.

It’s also worth pointing out as it feels appropriate that I’m only ever sad whenever I recall my younger years and childhood. In turn I’m at my happiest when I’m in the present focusing on my artwork and stories.  Why trap myself in the past where I’m living in the realm of what really matters; the present. With that in mind I decided to get rid of all the sources that link me back to my past. I partly did that throughout the years but I decided to get rid of everything whilst I was feeling motivated.

Yes it was emotional doing it but right here and now I feel cathartic and for the first time I drew my pictures and watched Match of the Day without so much as a fleeting thought.

 

Knowing not to reminisce is one thing but to put that into practice takes time and I feel I probably needed time to let go. I haven’t been able to do that until now. So, from this moment on I will not reflect on my past in my future blogs as that will defeat the object of my achievement. I will do what I’ve already been doing and that is discussing my current news, my art, anime and generally things that are relevant to me.

 

Christmas is coming and it couldn’t have come at a better time.

Thank you for reading. =)

Ryan.

 

ps, I also watched the anime film “Fireworks”. I enjoyed it very much. It was another great experience to watch an anime film at the cinema. =)

November Updates

It’s now November. As soon as Halloween finished everyone started to advertise Christmas, which I wholeheartedly approve. =)

 

General News

I don’t really celebrate Halloween as passionately with Birthdays and Christmasses but I did try to get into the spirit when I played board games at my Brother’s Halloween Party. It’s always good fun but I do find myself confused with the rules. At one point I was so focused reading the rules that I accidentally knocked over my J2O all over my Brother’s cards. Whoops!

It was my Mum’s Birthday last Saturday and for her Birthday I got her Disney Crochet Patterns book and a Beauty and the Beast picture that I painted for her personally. I’m thankful that she likes it because it took me a long time to draw and colour it. It was especially difficult because Disney is not my style so it was tough to adapt, but with great fortune I managed it. =)

I watched Kingsmen: The Golden Circle at the cinema with my Brother and afterwards visited the Hard Rock Café to have drinks. That evening did take a toll on me because it was very busy with lots of people, both inside the café and around it because of the Little Mix concert.

I did embarrass myself at the bar by asking for a marshmallow J2O. Why I did this is still a mystery. Putting that aside indulging in that calming yet active atmosphere was a good experience. I wouldn’t want to go out every week but I would certainly like to come back one time to the Hard Rock Café. =)

 

Fun News

During my breaks of writing, drawing and looking after my niece I’ve been indulging on my Nights of Azure game, the second instalment, Bride of the New Moon. I’m really enjoying it. It feels a tad weird not seeing Arnice or Lilysse in it but it’s still good nonetheless.

Thanks to the previous games of the Atelier Series and the first Nights of Azure I have a firm grasp how to play the game. I have good idea the location of the plot, how to strengthen weapons, how to enhance specific items and so on. This time I bought the normal edition for the Nintendo Switch so the efforts it’s probably not as rewarding as it might be for the PlayStation 4, trophy wise, but I find it more rewarding that I’m able to progress through the storylines without online tutorials. I’m figuring everything out for myself and I can enjoy the story and gameplay without worrying about achieving the trophies in the process.

Playing it for the Switch is beneficial as I can play it anywhere. I know there’s the Vita but with Nights of Azure I’d rather play it on the Switch with a controller than on a handheld like the Vita.

In hindsight I probably should have bought the limited edition which comes with extra goods, like the DLC, but that’s not really important. What’s important is my enjoyment of the game which I’m enjoying very much.

I’m doing other things besides Nights of Azure. I’m playing Senran Kagura PBS for the PS4 and New Game! for the Vita. I practice Yoga every day and I’m reading manga/light novels before bed. I’m currently reading How a Realist Hero Rebuilt the Kingdom volume 4 and just made it to chapter 5. As soon as I’ve finished reading that I’m going to read In Another World with my Smartphone volume 5. I considered reviewing all volumes from 1 to 5 in one swoop but that would be too much of a hassle so I may settle to just reviewing the newest volume if the mood strikes me. =)

 

Art News

I’m taking some time from my schedule to study some art books. I have confidence in my ability right now but studying fantastic art and artists will not only help me improve but it will inspire me more and give me clearer ideas for my future illustrations. Luckily I have ideas I’m already working on but I really want to take my time with them.

I feel I get better with every picture I draw. I can visualise the content of my pictures much clearer, and that makes me very happy.

 

I’m going to attend the Doki Doki Festival over the weekend. This will be quite a big event for me as I arranged the trip to go there with my brother. It’s the complete unknown and I am somewhat apprehensive about it but ultimately I think we will enjoy it. =)

Thanks for reading.^^/

Ryan.

How a Realist Hero Rebuilt the Kingdom LN Review (Vol 1, 2 and 3)

How a Realist Hero Rebuilt the Kingdom

How a Realist Hero Rebuilt the Kingdom

Author: Dojyomaru

Publisher: J-Novel Club

How Many Light Novel Volumes I Own: Three

Pre-Review:

No spoilers on this occasion

Review:

Initially I did struggle to read this and gave up on my first attempt. However, once I got used to reading more than a few light novels at a time I gave this another go and I’m very glad I did. This story offers a different type of the traditional “Isekai” genre that you usually see in modern light novels.

The writing style and the expression used is very stylish, sophisticated and most importantly, enticing. Because I’m not a good reader I found it difficult but once I got used to reading light novels back to back I found the style of this series easier to read.

Some of you may already know that I enjoy light-hearted/good feel stories the most and avoid ones that harbour suspense and drama. I feel this has the perfect balance of both. It’s not too light that comedy overshadows the plot but it’s not too serious where it would leave a bad taste in my mouth. It has a good mixture of everything.

When summoned to another world Souma’s life literally changed from the tranquillity of life in Japan to the rough era with an ethos of the middles ages. That meant political issues with neighbouring countries, dealing with corrupt nobles and rebellious duchies, a food crisis, changing the military set-up, but to top it all off, the Demon Lord’s Domain which threatens the existence of mankind. It’s a humongous responsibility for a young man like Souma to bear on his shoulders. I can’t help but sympathise and admire his courageousness through his decisions as a King and as a man.

I really enjoy reading about his journey and how the ladies in his life help him whenever he is down in the dumps. The novel often switches from the storyteller to the casts perspectives which make the story more interesting. It gives you an insight to how the characters are feeling if the situation is personal to them. It also adds a different dimension to the scenario both to the story and to the character.

The characters are wonderful, the fights are good, the politics and suspense are well conveyed, and the ladies are beautiful inside and out. I couldn’t ask for more well-balanced story that offers a mature yet realistic feel to an isekai light novel.

5 out of 5

 

Post-Review:

I read the three volumes in one swoop and often lost sleep because I wanted to keep reading them on my kindle. It is a fact that makes me sad but equally ecstatic because I thoroughly enjoyed and will continue to enjoy reading this series.

I’m now in the lengthy process of drawing a picture of Liscia, Aisha and Juna together. It will take a while to complete but it will be worth it.

 

I can’t wait for volume four. =)

 

Thank you for reading. =)

Ryan.^^/

KonoSuba Light Novel Review (1, 2 and 3)

KonoSuba: God’s Blessing on this Wonderful World!

KonoSuba LN 1

Author: Natsume Akatsuki

Publisher: YenPress

How Many Light Novel Volumes I Own: Three

Pre-Review:

Spoilers up ahead.

Review:

I really do like the concept of the guy being transferred to a fantasy world either through means of a summoning or through reincarnation. In this case Kazuma died a hilarious comedic death and is given the option of bringing any “broken weapon or ability” with him. Yet, out of all of the cards that were dealt, he picked the lowest card of the deck, the joker, Aqua, the most useless card that could be dealt. Haha.

What makes this a good book is how the author conveys both the plot and how he/she depicts the characters in the plot. KonoSuba is classed as a comedy but I feel this isn’t meant to be a comedy, it’s a well thought out story that includes very funny moments. The pace and language is very simple and the plot flows smoothly without over-articulating the writing. I’m not a very good reader and I struggle to take in the information but with KonoSuba I found the books very easy to read.

A good foundation for a story is always important but having good characters is equally as important. I’m happy to say that the characters in this story are amazing, especially the main crew, Kazuma and his party.

Kazuma has no talent and therefore became your average adventurer and forms a party with three high-class adventurers, the Arch Priest Aqua, the Arch Wizard, Megumin, and the Crusader, Darkness. The ladies being as strong as they are should be using Kazuma as their bag carrier, yet, the beautiful catch of this party is that they’re all completely useless in their own quirky ways. Aqua is a Diva, Megumin can only use explosion magic once before she faints and Darkness is a masochist who can’t even hit the simplest of objects. It’s no surprise that Kazuma became leader by default, look what happened when he traded places with Dust. Haha.

The ultimate plot of this over-powered game is for the bog standard Hero, Kazuma, to eliminate the Demon King once and for all. He needs to beat him, or her (it could be a lady) to achieve his unyielding desire and to return Aqua to the Heavens.  The current goal is to scrape through each day whilst eliminating all the Demon Generals in the process.

Speaking of Demon Generals, the villains are just as wonderful as the main cast. You have this tough Dullahan, Beldia, who is extremely intimidating when confronting the town of Axel but gets bewildered and rolls around in agony that wouldn’t befit the role of a villain. The other Demon General Wiz has a very unique relationship with Aqua and the polar opposites between them are high and hilarious for unusual reasons. It’s as Kazuma said, they ought to switch places for Goddess and Lich.

The underlying feature that I found beautiful is the relationship between Kazuma and his three party members. They banter a lot and you often see their love and hate relationship, mostly between Kazuma and Aqua, but deep down I think they all care deeply for each other. Their relationship partly reminds me of the relationship between Del Boy and Rodney from Only Fools and Horses (UK Sitcom).

Throughout the three volumes the feelings and bonds between Kazuma and the three ladies grew and developed in significant ways. If nothing happens romantically between them it wouldn’t ruin the story because they will always be close like family and that is just as important as a romantic relationship. =)

I get the impression that Aqua, Megumin and Darkness care more for Kazuma than his family ever did so it’s not surprising that Kazuma treasures them.

5 out of 5

 

Post-Review:

The modern niche in anime is the protagonist being transferred from modern day Japan to a fantasy world set in the middle ages, KonoSuba is one of them. It was a Web Novel but as far as I understand Natsume stopped writing the Web Novel when Kadokawa licensed the series and thus the Light Novel series was born, and I’m very thankful it was. =)

I first watched the anime on a whim last year and since then I’ve been watching it, reading it and collecting KonoSuba memorabilia back to back ever since. I’m very happy to say that this is one of my all-time favourite series, both as an anime and as a Manga/Light Novel series. I’m especially thankful for YenPress for licensing the series because now I get to indulge in the KonoSuba literature any time at my leisure.

In light of the surging popularity behind KonoSuba there’s a bunch of Spin-offs released as result. Here’s to hoping that YenPress will license these spin-offs in the near future for I, as one, would gladly support and read with pride more KonoSuba. =)

 

God Bless this Wonderful World!

Ryan.^^/

My Birthday 2017

It was my Birthday a few of days ago and I had a wonderful day.

I received nice Birthday messages, thoughtful cards and wonderful presents. The highlight of the day, I must say, is when my two year old Niece said to me “Happy Birthday Bro” because she calls me Uncle Bro. She’s very sweet and clever.

I don’t like a huge fuss or be the centre of attention I just like to spend a quiet peaceful day with my family. I woke up very early so I spent some time in my summer house editing one of my stories whilst listening to the birds singing. During the day I played Mario Kart with all my family and we then stayed up to the early hours watching One Punch Man. It’s fortunate we’re fans of the show and was worth the lack of sleep, haha.

A tad off subject but just thought to bring up something I recently learned about myself, how I used to fear failure.

This fact is important because it explains my thoughts, my obsession with being perfect and having a spotless record in every academic subject and emotional stress that extends back to my childhood. It’s only these past couple of years that I became more laid back and started to accept my weaknesses and being open to making mistakes. Yoga and Art helped me to make peace with my fear that isn’t really such a fear anymore, more of a dislike.

Back on subject- I had a wonderful day. It’s going to be an upheaval task trying to remember that I’m 29 but then again age isn’t really important, it’s more about how you feel. =)

 

Thanks for reading. =)

Ryan.^^/

2 Years

From time to time I look at my older art and with some of them I think “you could have done that better,” and I’m confident I would. This doesn’t mean I’m not proud of my past works though, I see them as progress to the artist I am now. They remind me how I started and where I was 2 years ago.

 

So much has happened since then. I was excited when one of my pictures received one view but now, since the beginning of the year, I’ve been receiving dozens of requests. It’s the sort of thing I didn’t think could happen, the idea never truly entered my head as a possibility. I’m still amazed by it all, even when I’m receiving requests now. =)

 

I decided to take a break from requests for the time being as I’ve been working on multiple backlogs since Christmas and I’ve also had spells of being unwell perhaps due to tiredness. I have taken a couple of short breaks between requests but have now decided to take a longer break to “recharge my batteries”. I do love my drawings I just think I’ve been a bit over-enthusiastic and perhaps not rested as much as I should have.

 

I hope to produce a picture to celebrate my own personal achievement for the last two years. My initial achievement was being brave enough to share my very first picture publicly but now the other achievement is making others happy with my drawings. =)

 

Thanks for your support, everyone.^^/

May Updates

Aoba x Hifumi

Hello.

Here I am, reporting in my monthly update.

Not so long ago I chipped a tooth and booked an appointment to get it checked. I was somewhat anxious as it would be my first ever filing… or so I thought. My Dentist told me my “chipped tooth” was in perfect condition with a tiny scrape at the top. I felt much better after this, I was anxious over nothing. =)

For the past few weeks I’ve been very poorly. I was suffering with bad dizzy spells to the point where I couldn’t draw and lost my balance whenever I walked. On top of that I caught a cold in the process.

I wondered if it was because I had been drinking decaf tea for over a week as opposed to my normal regular tea, so I switched to regular tea… only to experience no sleep that very same night. The dizzy spells seemed to have disappeared though. Haha!

I’m more or less better now I just need to rest more and sleep better. I do feel up to drawing more requests so I’ll resume them this evening. =)

Thanks for reading. =)

Ryan.^^/

PS, I’m learning Japanese, more specifically Kana. I now understand the difference between Hiragana, Katakana and Kanji. Hurray. =)

How Manga Changed My Life

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Over the last couple of years reading manga has become a really enjoyable hobby.

I’ve always struggled with reading since I was little, it’s difficult to put into words but I basically struggled to take in the information of the text which proved to be an uphill task when I was a University student. Luckily I had very understanding tutors who made my education very easy and enjoyable.

Around the time I graduated from Uni I got into manga and I must say I found it life-changing. After years of searching for reading material I found it in the form of manga. Suddenly I went from struggling to read one page to reading and enjoying literally dozens of manga and light novels.

Not only am I enjoying these stories as a fan but they’re helping me in the professional field as an artist and as an author. It may not seem much but it’s a very big deal to me and I’m very thankful that publishers like Seven Seas, Yen Press and everyone else exist to license and publish the manga that we all know and love. I’m also thankful for the Amazon Kindle, because I’m able to read and store so many manga volumes in one little device. =)

To give you a rough idea what I read, I’ll list 13 random Manga/Light Novels I’m currently reading while summarising my thoughts for each of them. =)

 

MY READING LIST

  1. Bloom into You (Seven Seas)

Volumes: 1

Yuu and Touko’s friendship started off simple but it develops deeper when they learn more about each other. They could become a lovely couple without drama but that quip made by Yuu’s Dad could be a hint of troubles to come. I don’t know why he would have a problem of Yuu having a girlfriend but the fact remains that if Yuu harbours those feelings it would put her in a tight spot.

 

2. Dragons Rioting (Yen Press)

Volumes: 4

This story is definitely unique, especially the circumstances with Rintaro. This is one of my favourite manga and it makes me sad a little that it’s never received an anime adaptation.

 

3. Is It Wrong to Try to Pick Up Girls in a Dungeon? (YenPress)

Light Novel Volumes: 7

Manga Volume: 6

Sword Oratoria Light Novel Volumes: 2

The first Light Novel I’ve ever read. I like reading all about Bell’s journey and how he overcomes his mistakes and trials in and outside the dungeon. I especially adore his relationship with Hestia, they’re like a young married couple.

 

4. Kampfer (Digital Manga Publishing)

Manga Volumes: 3

I liked the anime and took the opportunity to read it on my kindle. Although I’m enjoying the manga it is difficult to ignore the quality of the pages, especially when I have to zoom in to read the dialogue.

 

5. Kiss and White Lily for my Dearest Girl (YenPress)

Volumes: 1

So far the contrast of love and hate between Ayaka and Yurine is adorable and I sense it’s gradually blossoming into a beautiful relationship. Ayaka buying flowers for her “rival” is a sweet touch and proves that deep down she cares about her future girlfriend. 😉

 

6. KonoSuba: God’s Blessing on this Wonderful World! (YenPress)

Manga Volumes: 2

Light Novel Volumes: 1

An absolutely hilarious story and I like how it’s written in the books. It doesn’t go into detail it just delves right into the plot, and that’s what I especially like about it. If there’s one thing that does disappoint me, slightly unrelated, is how the anime crew didn’t adapt Wiz’s introduction scene. It doesn’t detract from the overall enjoyment, just a thought that came to mind. =)

 

7. My Big Sister Lives in a Fantasy World (J-Novel Club)

Manga Volumes: 3

I’m happy that more Light Novels are being published in English. I’m currently up to the part in volume 3 where Yoriko prevented Aiko from digging her fangs into Yuichi’s neck. This is an easy to read book and like KonoSuba and Re:Zero it has that air of self-awareness of manga cliché that seems to be the modern and current manga cliché.

 

8. Oh My Goddess! (Dark Horse Comics)

Volume: 1

Reading the first book makes me appreciate the era it debuted in, I find the story and the fashion very fascinating. Belldandy is such a beautiful Goddess, if I was Keiichi I’d ask her to stay with me as well! I also appreciate the references made by KonoSuba, especially the fateful encounter between Kazama and Aqua.

 

9. One-Punch Man (VizMedia)

Manga Volumes: 11

One-Punch Man, or as my Auntie calls him, “One Punch Baldy Man,” haha. I got my family hooked on Non Non Biyori and now I got them all hooked on the anime and given time, the manga too. 😉

The concept of this manga is wonderfully different and I find it inspiring as an artist how Yusuke Murata and One met and turned the franchise into a massively well-earned product. =)

 

10. Please Tell Me! Galko-Chan (Seven Seas)

Volumes: 2

Seeing a manga with colourful pages is very refreshing on the eyes. =) The simplicity of the story is nice too. I especially like how diverse and friendly the classmates are with each other, especially Galko and Otako. =)

 

11. See Me After Class (Project-H)

Volumes: 2

I never dreamed that this would ever get a license and I’m delighted that it did. =D This story is very humorous and makes me chuckle every time I re-read the volumes. It’s a tad disappointing that volume 3 keeps getting back-dated but it makes me look forward to it more. =)

 

12. The Testament of New Sister Devil (Seven Seas)

Volumes: 5

I keep on comparing this with High School DxD, I see many similarities yet major differences.

This harem story is visually appealing but one of my favourite moments is when Basara and his group battled against the heroes that filled one whole volume. Fan-service was not needed because the story and climax of that battle was very engaging. =)

 

13. Witchcraft Works (Vertical)

Volumes: 6

I love expressionless girls like Ayaka, I think her kind of characters tend to be funnier when they deal with situations with a monotone face. Haha. I like her relationship with Honoka and I find it fascinating how he was initially a girl before the story came to fruition.

 

MY PLAN TO READ LIST (10 Selected)

  1. Akashic Records of the Bastard Magical Instructor (Seven Seas)
  2. Anti-Magic Academy: The 35th Test Platoon (Seven Seas)
  3. Flying Witch (Vertical)
  4. Grenadier (VizMedia)
  5. Hybrid x Heart (YenPress)
  6. Monster Girl Doctor (Seven Seas)
  7. My Wife is Wagatsuma-San (Kodansha)
  8. The Testament of Sister New Devil Storm (Seven Seas)
  9. To LOVE-Ru (Seven Seas)
  10. Yokai Girls (Seven Seas)

Thank you for reading. =)

Ryan.^^/

April Updates

Hello.^^/

For the past couple of weeks I’ve been very busy with all kinds of things. I’ve been out socialising, continuing my outside projects and helping out with various tasks.

I got back into swimming a couple of weeks ago. I was hesitant in both weeks as the pool was filled with adults and children and we nearly bumped into each other a few times. I do my best to read situations but sometimes you learn things through experience rather than logic, even if you practice the scenario 100 times in your head. Haha.

I’ve been out a few other times as well and watched Wrestlemania at my brother’s and hanging out at Starbucks. My bro and I were both laughing because the gentleman that served me thought my name was Ray, not Ryan. I was chuckling to myself at that silly moment whilst gazing at nothing in particular when a lady, who stood near us, looked up and smiled at me. I felt a little awkward at that moment it looked as though I’ve been staring and smiling at her all that time. Of course this wasn’t the case and I would understand if she thought if I was bonkers but I will take a smile over a frown any day!

 

We had a lot of visitors at my home throughout the week and I helped to look after my niece twice this week on the same days as yoga and swimming. All was well when I felt something was off when I came back from yoga. I don’t know why but I felt very dizzy and lethargic and at one point I thought I was going to be sick. Why was I suddenly feeling ill? I had no idea why. The answer came to me quickly, a combination of lack of sleep and not giving myself enough time to recharge my batteries.

It has been a challenging week for me personally. I usually take things easy but lately I’ve been busier than ever and I’m not used to socialising with others more than once a week. Deep down I’ve probably withheld my stress and doing my best to persevere. My body and mind needs to slow down and take things easier, especially with things that aren’t in my control. It didn’t help that I got back into the habit of going to bed late and waking up very early.

It’s all ok though, as soon as I recognised something was wrong I tried to listen to the current conditions of my mind and body. What would cheer me up? Once decided I had a deep bath, watched Non Non Biyori and wrote some notes on my fantasy story. The only way I get rid of my negative thinking is to not try to force it out but to accept it and override it with something that makes me happy and only then will the negatives wash away. It works every time.

I feel it’s important to remember that even when I’m having an off day I know what makes me happy. =)

 

I also made the sad decision to get rid of my Lady Lamp. I’ve had it since I was sixteen but throughout the years it has been pretty much decaying to the point where it couldn’t be fixed. It was a very big decision and letting go of attachments is never easy. I was upset at first when I decided to let it go but I got used to its absence very quickly. It’s reassuring for me that I’m able to let go of materialistic attachments, especially something as precious as my Lady Lamp.

 

All these events remind me that no matter how challenging life gets things will turn out well in the end. =D

 

I like to talk about my current thoughts on anime and manga but I’ll leave that for another time. =)

 

Thanks for reading,

Ryan. =)

March Updates

Pre-Natal Class Picture

Hello.

Many good things are happening lately and here we are now in the third week of March. It feels as though everything is happening in such a short space of time, especially art wise. This is an exciting time for my art journey. =D

Sadly I did lose a lot of steam and I’m still ill as of now, it’s one of the reasons why I decided to not accept any more requests until April. It still hurts to talk and I was unable to vlog fantasy football for the past couple of weeks. Thankfully I’m not as bad as I was, if I keep disciplined and continue to relax I should be better sooner than later. Admittedly I never like to rest, I always like to keep busy and work from morning till night. That’s not working for me so I gave myself cutting off points to chill out a bit before bed.

I drew a picture for a dear friend of mine who is also my Yogi teacher. She asked me to draw her Pre-Natal class, I said yes and gave it a go. I don’t usually draw real life people but I worked hard at it. It’s taken me a month or so to do but she loves it and that makes me happy. =)

Ever since I finished drawing my Elf Goddess Gaia I’ve been coming up with many ideas for future manga/comic/stories etc that surrounds her. I don’t have a strong foundation for a story I just visualise her beating the stuffing out of evil myriads. For that reason it will probably work better as a manga but in truth I’m still not sure.

I won’t think too hard about it. For now I’m just happy that I managed to draw a colourful picture of her but if a story comes out of it, that’ll be a marvellous bonus. =)

 

Thanks for reading,

Ryan.^^/